From the mouths of babes

“I want you to be my mommy.”

Wow. I’ve been a regular babysitter for more than half my life. I’ve sat from one end of this galaxy to the other. I’ve heard a lot of strange stuff fly from the mouths of babes, but I’ve never heard anything to bowl me over and pin me to the floor like that statement did, made this evening by the 4 ½ year-old girl I’ve been taking care of this summer. That one might even slide into second place in the Greatest-Compliments-of-my-Life contest, right behind the one my dad gave me when I graduated college, which can never possibly be topped.

It hasn’t been an easy summer. The kids’ dad walked out on them in the spring, a week before I moved into the house to become the new nanny. Naturally, they’re having a rough time coping, and I’ve been uncertain as to how to offer them the best possible support for a worse than crappy situation about which I can’t do diddly-squat. We’ve had our ups and downs, our bad days and our worse days, but overall it’s been a good summer. Until tonight. Now it’s a great summer.

I’ve always know I’d want kids at some point in the future. I like the little buggers. That’s why I agreed to work as a nanny for 3 months. But this one clinched it. I want kids. I want these kids. I want any kids. I want them now! Somebody get me some sperm!

If anyone knows and eligible young men between the ages of puberty and pensioner who are honest, easy-going, creative, tall, and would like to shag me (I’m not that ugly, honest), post me a reply. I will begin conducting interviews shortly. Thank you.