Let me preface this tirade by taking a moment to say, right off the bat, that I love England. I have had one of the most fantastic years of my life, met hordes of fabulous people, and pushed my academic, athletic, and social limits outward. It’s been a year of challenges, rewards, and satisfaction. That said, I have one minor beef (besides the weather, which naturally goes without saying): several of the members of the aforementioned fab horde have accused me on numerous occasions of playing mind games. I find this as ironic as I do irritating. Not only have I never before been accused, even jokingly, of such manipulative, juvenile pursuits, but most of my friends back in the Land o’ W have at some point insisted that the reason I have spent the last 6 years of my life in a lonely, dateless trance was a result of my very refusal to manipulate hapless men to my cave with deceptive feminine wiles and guilt-spawned mind fucks. But in America, a lone and righteous existence is the price one pays for refusing to stoop to the level of a Jerry Spring guest. So for all the men out there reading this, as well as for a certain acquaintance of mine, let me say this for the record:
Now hear this!!! Not all women are shameless, power-mongering succubi who use men to their pleasure until they’re nothing but dry, emasculated husks to be discarded with the other recylables. Contrary to popular opinion, there are a few of us out there who are dead honest, who will answer any question put to us with shocking and occasionally painful truth, who have no interest in manipulating people to get what we want, and WHO DON’T. EVER. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. PLAY HEAD GAMES.
There is a reason for this attitude, and it goes like this. If I were to lure a man, black-widow like, to my chamber, my home, and my life under the inherently false pretenses of emotional manipulation, it would be an inherently hollow and meaningless relationship. If I become romantically involved with another person, and I hope some day that I might, it needs to be because the other person WANTS TO BE THERE, not because they’ve been duped into a commitment they don’t really feel. Head-games, mind-jobs, and brain-fucks are all, therefore, ultimately self-defeating and a huge waste of time. I have better things to do with my pathetic, lonely existence. Thank you.