...Bluto S. Schumggleware!
Here he is, folks: my adorable little guy, the most dependable man in my life. Sure he's only 3 inches long and has a hairy back, but a girl can't have everything.
His favourite past times include running manically on his wheel all night long (which mercifully does not squeak); eating sunflower seeds; carrying wads of shredded loo roll around in his mouth; and looking at me imploringly with those big black buggy eyes.
We're also learning how to roll around on the floor in the Death Star (yes, I realize you will need photos of this), but at the moment we still don't quite have the hang of that one.
You're probably wondering by now why the name. I'll enlighten you.
Schmuggleware, besides sounding really cute (it's good when a pet's name is larger than the pet), is German for 'contraband.' I chose this because I'm not technically supposed to have a pet in this building. They're doing room inspections shortly, but it's ok because we've got a whole network of sympathetic pet lovers in different rooms on different floors ready to babysit Bluto for a few days while the Angel of Death, i mean, management passes by my lintel.
S. is the same S. as in Harry S. Truman. Not that I'm a big fan of Truman. I mostly stuck it in there because it regularizes the meter of the name. Bluto Schmuggleware scans / x / x x, whereas Bluto S. Schmuggleware scans / x x / x x. See? It's much more natural. Yes yes i'm a linguist. get over it.
So why Bluto? I'll tell yo this: IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH POPEYE.
It's after this guy:
Also named Bluto, he was round, furry, of few words, and the life of every party. He brought joy and laughter to those around him. I can't think of a better namesake for a hamster.And if you have NO IDEA who this is, then for FUCK'S SAKE go rent the movie 'Animal House.' An American cult classic and the voice of a generation.
Rest in peace, St. Belushi: your legacy lives on in our hearts and in the bossom of a small grey rodent in Bristol, England.
6 comments:
Welcome !!!! Bluto S. Schumggleware
That is the coolest name! and he looks gorgeous! I've not seen a grey hamster before - they're much cuter than the brown ones... I quite agree with you that the smaller the animal, the longer the name has to be although the real Hendrix Cat is just gifted with the one name (since she's a girl and Hendrix was a guy it sort of follows the same rule...)but that was because I didn't mean to get her (rule number one when choosing a kitten - don't get it from a house where they only have 2 left and so I didn't have a name picked out...
a pome in honer of hamster
bluto
you are so cute o
even tho hamsters are mute o
you are a hoot o
dear bluto
refrain:
schmuggleware
its like contraband
or illegal transportation
of restricted goods
to avoid tariff
bluto
i hope cocaine you will not toot o
and you never get the boot o
may your path be straight, and not convoluto
dear bluto
schmuggleware sounds like someone who reads too much harry potter and dreams of ripping off microsoft.
but I bow to your greater knowledge of meter. there are worse names. Anyway, what would I know. I wanted to name my dog 'bumfluff'.
PS: how does engelbert humperdinck scan? pretty darn well I would think! Go engelbert!!!
FN: that is so FUCKING AWESOME.
you are da bomb.
Anon: it scans exactly the same, ie 2 dactyllic feet.
Okay. You've worked on my grammar. Now you need to give me a masterclass on metre.
Good on the name. Esp the german ref to contraband. V. cute.
Excellent. Once again, my feedreader is on the fritz.
How is Bluto these days? Did he get the hang of the Deathstar?
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