At Herebe Monsters's Request

English Men

First date: you pull

Second date: you have wild, hot, slippity, slappity monkey sex.

Third date: He tells you to bring him a beer and shut up so he can watch the match.

Scottish Men

First date: you pull

Second date: you find out what's really under that kilt

Third date: he leaves you for a sheep.

American (white) Men:

First date: he buys you an expensive dinner

Second date: you fumble around in the back of his car and it takes him 30 minutes to figure out how your bra works

First anniversary: you kill yourself because you can't mangae the incredible debt you've accrued from the unnecessesarily large suburban house and minivan you purchased to house and transport your 1.5 kids who have both been shot while on duty in Iraq anyway. Hubby comes out of the closet while in drug rehab.

American (black) Men:

First date: He buys you an expensive dinner

Second date: You discover the orgasmic truth of the saying "once you go black you never go back."

Third date: his funeral. His other girlfriend found out about you and capped his ass.

Jewish Men:

First date: You have dinner with the family on their plastic-covered dining room furniture.

Second date: His mother asks you why she doesn't have any grandchildren yet.

Third date: You dump the mama's boy.

Italian Men:

First date: He buys you an expensive dinner at the Resturaunt owned by his family.

Second date: Same resturaunt. You accidently overhear a conversation about where they dumped the body.

Thrid date: You marry him because it was either become part of the family or get dumped with the other body.

Jamaican Men:

First date: Do a little dance, make a little love, smoke a few joints.

Second date: Get the munchies.

Third date: Where are we again?