Monday, August 14, 2006


Both Billy and GSE have done this one, so I guess it's sufficiently cool. And I'm bored.

1. Have you had sex in the past 24 hours? In reality? No. In my mind? Every 24 seconds.
2. Are you gay? Bi.
3. Do you have hairy legs? Yes. Hair is mature, sexual. Hairlessness is suggestive of the pre-pubescent body, and is creepy.
4. Do you smoke anything? Baby, I am smokin'!
5. Do you like monkeys? I like the band. Not so much with the mammals.
6. How many fillings do you have? 2 I think. Not entirely sure to be honest.
7. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Lake. The ocean is scary; it tried to eat me.
8. Have you ever licked one of those square batteries? You don't know where that battery has been!
9. Have you ever read the Bible? Lets see here: 12 years of Catholic education. Yeah, I've read the Bible.
10. Did you ever go to Sunday School? Oh yeah. Rather liked it, too. We got to sing lots of songs.
11. Do you wear a lot of black? More brown, actually.
12. Did you ever bring a weapon to school? Just my rapier wit and piercing academic arugements.
13. Have you ever hugged a tree? Loads. Seriously.
14. Do you know what a sphincter actually is? Duh. Don't you?
15. Describe your hair? George Harrison circa 1965. I wish I were kidding.
16. Are you a wildbeast? A wild beast? or a wildebeast? Depends on where my feet are, I s'pose.
17. Do you like to have fun? Um, isn't that the definition of "fun"? Stuff you like to do. Who doesn't like to do what they like to do? That said, I don't generally enjoy the things the average person finds "fun."
18. Do you like drama? Yes, especially Elizabethan drama. Christopher Marlowe is god.
19. Have you ever taken a bong hit? Nope. (See question 17)
20. Do you like mayonnaise? Nope. I distinctly prefer Miracle Whip. That tangy zip, ya know?
21. Are you afraid to die? Not afraid as such, I'd just rather not if it's all the same to you. Life is finally starting to get interesting.
22. Do you like playing in leaves? YES YES YES YES!!!!
23. Have you ever peed your pants as an adult? No, thank god.
24. Have you ever thrown up on somebody as an adult? Yes, and he completely deserved it because he was an asshole AND he had fair warning that it was coming, so I don't feel guilty about it in the least. In fact, it was rather funny.
25. Are you an adult? Yeah, for a long time. *sigh* I'm not old, I just grew up way too fast.
26. Ever won a spelling bee? Damn straight, bitch. Loads of 'em. Ha.
27. Do you ever eat because you’re depressed? Depressed? no. Bored, yes.
28. Are you a television addict? Only a few select programs. (CSI Las Vegas, West Wing, Cash in the Attic.) Most of what's on TV is total crap. Especailly "reality TV." Ugh.
29. Do you think OJ was guilty? Of course he was.
30. Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? In fact, I do. We rather like each other.
31. Have you ever had sex in a hot tub? Not yet.
On a swing? Ooh, that sounds fun!
32. Do you like Elvis? A few tunes, In the Ghetto, Fools Rush In, Love Me Tender. That's about it.
33. Do you enjoy watching animals "do it" on the Discovery channel? Used to. Outgrew it.
34. Have you ever had sex with a total stranger? Nope.
35. Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkeys? Aye. Mmm, the great Thanksgiving Nap. Ahh.
36. Does your mom [sic] think someone is hot? Loads of people. All Olympic swimmers, most Olympic skiiers (espeically Jean Claude Keily), a few Olympic ice skaters, and Liam Neeson.
37. Are you a sugar freak? Freak, no. But I definately have a sweet tooth.
38. Ever been arrested? Much to my parents' dismay, no. My mom was furious with me when i graduated Uni never having been arrested for civil disobedience. Apparently I wasn't protesting hard enough.
39. Ever commit a crime and get away with it? No, I've never so much as shop-lifted a pack of gum. Always wanted to steal one of those road signs to hang on my door, though. you know, one of those that says "Dangerous Curves Ahead." That would be cool.
40. Do you like orange juice? yep. So annoying living in a country that doesn't grow its own oranges. OJ costs a fortune over here. And you don't have FCOJ! What's up with that?!?
41. What sign are you? Capricorn, but I don't believe in that crap.
42. Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly? I don't know what that is, but I'm sure I've never done it and never will. I like to live under the delusion that I have some shred of dignity. I'm pretty sure that engaging in anything called the "party boy dance" would shatter that delusion forthwith.
43. Where do you wish you were right now? Anywhere with the Pirate.
44. Did you enjoy this? Meh. Not the best meme I've seen, but it staved off the laundry for a good 15 minutes, so mission accomplished.


Babs said...

Miracle Whip?? How COULD you?!?! I had such high hopes for you, dammit.


That being said, I might nick this just to be able to smart-assily answer to questions 6 and 23. In fact, consider it nicked!!

helena said...

41. What sign are you? Capricorn, but I don't believe in that crap

Capricorns don't tend to.

The Hopeless Romantic said...

So annoying living in a country that doesn't grow its own oranges. OJ costs a fortune over here. And you don't have FCOJ! What's up with that?!?

OJ costs a fortune? Have you ever tried the Tesco value orangey coloured concentrate?

And as for FCOJ - we have the FCUK clothes chain if that helps at all?

First Nations said...

hopeless romantic: y'all used to grow your own oranges. thats why you invented the glass conservatory. of course they were only for rich persons, those oranges.
snobby oranges.
cb: the party boy dance (boy, i've explained this a lot lately) is where you wag your wobbly, spandex-pouched man-bits back and forth between your thighs in someones face. the elderly are prime candidates for this type of thing, although anyone confined to a wheelchair and prone to drooling is fair game.