Monday, September 11, 2006

A Farewell to Arms

...and hands and shoulders, to hard thighs, bristly cheeks, and gentle lips. Farewell to laughter, hugs, late-night chats, stimulating conversations, romantic dinners, and fantastic sex. Farewell to happiness: The Pirate is gone.

Just moments ago he set sail for distant lands of exotic climes. He will, perhaps, return in a couple months' time, but all is uncertainty. As it stands, by the current plan he will return at the end of November. But pirates change their plans more often than their knickers, so who knows.

What a send-off, though. He arrived here Friday night, and after a meal of my preparation we drove to his house, where the showers are hotter and the beds are more spacious. And then we spent the entire weekend together, talking about world events and laughing at our own idiocies and others'.

We went to the zoo on Saturday afternoon. I had hoped to spy one of the monkeys doing something that would inspire the parents to shield their children's eyes. Instead i got a whole zoofull of monkey engaged in such activities. FanTAStic. I love monkeys. That evening we went for an uber romantic dinner at a hotel near his house. It was the kind of place where the waiter puts the napkin on your lap for you. We gazed at each other through the glow of the candles and talked about our future plans.

Sunday morning we went to Church. The Vicar spied a new, young coupe in the congregation and immediately, like all good clergymen, smelled blood in the water. He cornered us (very cordially) on the way out, welcomed us, asked if we were married and, upon hearing our reply ("No"), suggested we tie the knot right there at St. Bart's.

We left the church and spent the afternoon up at Ashton Court, lazing around in the tall grass of the meadows, lying in the sun, dozing, talking, and flicking spiders off one another. A more lazy and enjoyable day I have never had. Sunday evening we came back to mine and sat around watching Jeeves and Wooster.

And this morning he was gone.

Funny thing is, I don't feel empty or alone or morose at all. Though it is disappointing to know that it will be some months before my eyes again enjoy the delight of his smile, I know that he keeps me in his heart, and that ultimately our relationship is based on far more than geography, and so this temporary geographical inconvenience is of little concern.

You will, of course, be the first to know when he gets back. Meanwhile, you'll have to put up with months and months worth of whiney, sexless posts. Ta!

11 comments:

Spinsterella said...

Ah, the mysterious job...

Perhaps he really *is* a pirate?

Annie Rhiannon said...

Hmm, I know how you feel.

Billy said...

Ooh youre back.

I was watching a tv programme last night about pirates and remembered yours :)

Bummer on being apart for so long, but, if I may sound rather bold and probably patronising, it sounds like it'll be quite the reunion when he gets back. Aw.

helena said...

It is rotton that he's gone for so long but Billy is right - you get the tumultuously passionate reunions...and in the meantime you can write letters that burn up the page!

First Nations said...

YAY! You're back!
CRAP! He's leaving!

keep up on things you can so that the gap is as narrow as possible when he returns. not that I expect to be able to slip a piece of paper between you for several weeks thereafter, but you know what I mean.

TOM said...

I am back at home now..
Keep in touch and best luck

One of the loyalest readers to your BLOG - TOM

:)

Chaucer's Bitch said...

Hi, Tom. Glad you got home safe and sound. Tell your girlfriend I said "Hi."

SBB said...

Pirates wear knickers? Is this the 'SNAG' Version of Pirates?

heehee

He cornered us (very cordially) on the way out, welcomed us, asked if we were married and, upon hearing our reply ("No"), suggested we tie the knot right there at St. Bart's.

Are you serious?! That is... just ... very disturbing! It's brings ambulance chasing lawyers to mind

ZB said...

Yeah.


SAVE SAVE SAVE! GET OUT THERE AND SAVE SOME SOULS! HAVE YOU HIT YOUR MARRIAGE QUOTAS THIS WEEK! GET OUT THERE AND SPLICE SOME PEOPLE! WASH SOME BABIES HEADS! GET THEM IN WHILE THEY'RE TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S NOT JUST A FREE BATH! PUSH OUR NEW CHOCOLATE FLAVOUR COMMUNION WAFER! COME ON GUYS (AND GIRLS NOW OF COURSE. WE'RE NOW A BROAD CHURCH) WE'RE IN THE SALVATION BUSINESS...


Said the Pope today at a TEAM GOD strategy marketing pep talk for the TEAM GOD representatives.

GreatSheElephant said...

that vicar needs a slap

Chaucer's Bitch said...

slap? nah. it's his job. i'm not bothered. of course, i grew up being accustomed to that sort assault. (ZB's comment is really only half a degree off from reality, if that much.)