Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The Final Countdown

1 day, people!

[in Ethel Merman voice] Thuuuuh sun'll come ooooout, two-mah-roh!

I want to run around and clean and cook and make everything sparkling and perfect and wonderful. I was going to bake an apple pie and everything, but I can't fucking bend over!!!! It's intollerable. (Would someone please come clean my bathroom for me? I knew I should have done that last week.)


Karen said...

I'm sure the Pirate will be more concerned that you're ok as opposed to whether or not your toilet sparkles like the sun.

Da Nator said...

Being a veteran of several slipped discs and eventual spinal surgery, I'm with Karen on this one. Take it easy and be careful with your back. I'm sure a few pube hairs on the tiles will get a pass if it means you can actually walk to the bathroom yourself and use it. (Trust me, I has one back incident where I tried to crawl to the bathroom and ended up wedged, in agony, under the toilet, for an hour until some pain meds kicked in. DON'T PUSH IT.)

Have a wonderful time with the pirate and keep us posted (if you can get to the keyboard). ;o) Oh, and if you continue to have problems with your back, I'd advise you to go to an orthopaedist and get some xrays. She or he should be able to determine the extent of the injury and the best treatment. And feel free to contact me if you have any questions - I have a lot of experience with this issue, alas!

Feel better, sweetie darling...

frobisher said...

Hopefully you'll still be able to do it doggy style.

I wait with baited breath for the next post

ZB said...

Lie on your back, open wide and let him sail into port...

First Nations said...

the man's a sailor, he wont be real worried about the state of the can. as for you, its time to make him put his mouth where his money was. ahem. I've tried the deed with a bad back and honey, if you get carried away its gonna fry your disc even worse. make him recite from Kipling.
'the great grey green greasy limpopo river' and all that. in fact, stick to the 'limpopo' part and skip the rest.
damn, though, i backread and what a story! *gingerly hugs and vicodin*

Chaucer's Bitch said...

Karen: the man has a bladder the size of the Bismark. I don't think he's even been in my bathroom yet! (Guess i was worried for nothing.)

Da Nator: thanks, luv.

Frobi: nope. no bending. but there are other possibilities... (see FN's comment)

zb: um, yeah. *shakes head*

FN: spot on, babe.