*Pant pant pant pant pant....*

Ok here we go christmas break in 100 words or less no punctuation i don't have time

All the airports fogged in EXCEPT manchester thank god we barely made it out
Mom and dad met us in Detroit all hugs kisses exclaimation points introdtuctions it's so good to see you WELCOME!!!!
Late night long travelling get home pet dog HELLOOOOO DAISY DOODLE! grab Pirate collapse into bed
Day 1 get hair cut dentist appointment dentist gives me free teeth cleaning on condidtion i marry Pirate who is waiting in lobby if not married owe him 75 bucks what a card! Scot and Marilynn and John and Pamela over for dinner more introductions fabulous meal all very exhausting

Day 2 drive to Lansing to visit Aunt Sister Pain-in-my-Ass who goes to extreme efforts to fix us lovely brunch and still manages to botch the quishe even though it was a pre-packaged thingy. Takes us on tour of her office building inflicts entire history of 3-year-old bldg on Pirate who bears it with great stoicism and fortitude he must really love me to put up with all this drive home make gallumpki for christmas dinner then off to party at Rick and Debbie's where emotionally damaged daughter decides Pirate is hot (she's damaged, not blind) and clings to him all night.

Day 3 Christmas eve Bob and Lee over for lunch more small talk being polite Pirate having to explain his job for the 14th time in 3 days to more strangers who "have heard so much about you!!!" go to gym for workout lift weights with Pirate have fun shouting at each other and sweating and panting never giggled so much in a gym before spent 10 minutes on ergometer and my back was OK yay!!! came home sr aunt PITA arrived already have dinner of kielbasa, pierogi and other Polish food open pressies Pirate like the scarf I crocheted him and then off to Midnight Mass choir sounded beautiful Pirate not impressed with RC decorations too high church for him but went to Eucharist anyway which is great because technically the RC church does not allow non-RCs to accept Eucharist Pirate doesn't give a shit what they think god i love him.

Day 4 Christmas Day finally a day to chill out and put our feet up slept in and woke up in each others' arm made drowsy love in warmth and relaxation and who gives a shit if house is wood and parents hear as domestic acoustics are such that it's basically like shagging inside a guitar Christmas dinner lovely and gallumpki a big hit went for long walk in woods saw 3 deer and an owl.

Day 5 walked downtown had workout in gym then went to toy store and hunting superstore to see dead animals on walls and examine archery equipment for sale Pirate is secretly Robin Hood shush don't tell anyone

Day 6 Drove to Detroit saw Spamalot would have gouged my left eye out to see the original cast but it was hysterical nonetheless dad and Pirate laughed themselves to tears if you get the chance GO SEE IT then Greektown for dinner had flaming cheese Pirate loving the idea of 4 foot flames leaping off the cheese the moussaka was excellent got home late and went to bed

Day 7 Spent all day cooking for big dinner following day then went out to dinner with Rick and Mary old school frinds of mine more introductions it's so good to meet you etc etc Rick trying to bait Pirate into discussion of English presence in Northern Ireland and other topics Pirate does not rise to the bait and responds with coolness and dignity ha suck on that one, Rick got home where brother and sister in law are waiting having driving in from wisconsin still MORE introductions etc i can't believe the Pirate is still here he must REALLY love me to put up with all this bless him.

Day 8 hung out with marley and mrs happy (bro and sis-in-l) and then sr. aunt PITA and her companion arrive and we have big famiily thanksgiving with turkey and all the trimmings and the whole family around the table and i totally loved it it's my favourite think in the world to have everyone i care about around a table breaking bread together and the Pirate was there and it was perfect

Day 9 flew back to England first flight was over 2 hours late and we barely made out connection but we did make it so all is well

Day 10 Pirate's parents met us at Manchester airport it's New Year's Eve the Pirate didn't sleep at all on the plane so he's been awake all night I dozed about 2hours the movies were terrible we're both exhausted the car in front of us on the motorway spins out of control and collides with a guardrail there is debris everywhere our car hits something big there is a loud clunk as the car goes over it Mr Pirate pulls over to inspect the damage police are on the way lights flashing confusion is the car ok everyone's ok the car's ok swap details so we can go home. Home at the P's we have tea I go upstairs to take a nap the macho P decides to force himself to stay awake to readjust his body clock i wake up 90 mins later and have a bath and feel much better we go out and go shopping the P needs a new MP3 player get back and get changed for party feeling like shit because P's parents have booked table at posh golf club for 5 course meal and i didn't pack a dress only have black trousers and blouse P's mum sympathetic and wears trousers as well so I feel better dinner gorgeous balloons on table which we blow up and send flying across room at other people's heads and waitresses rest of room catches on and soon balloons are flying like jet-propelled condoms all over room too tired to stay awake til midnight and P too self-conscious to dance in front of 'rents so left at 10 but had lovely evening.

Day 11 New Year's Day made resolutions to get sub-7 erg score and 30K words done on dissertation took long walk in countryside with Pirate and got stuck in mud up to ankles no deer but saw lots of sheep

Day 12 slept in read paper drove to country pup to meet P's dad for lunch then wandered around Lancaster for the afternoon got nice tea in tea merchant and went to pet store P bought me more fun tubes for Bluto's cage and an aquarium and when I get back from Spain P will buy me a fishy for my birthday yay!!! P spent rest of evening playing with model trains with his father I sat and chatted with his mum scuh lovely people hope they will be my in-laws someday soon no ring under x-mas tree boo hoo

Day 13 (today) drove back to bristol now have to unpack do laundry repack and catch bus at 3:30 am to get to airport because going to spain for a week for rowing training camp will tell you all about it in a week see you then love xxxxxx