Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The News in Brief

and Thong, and Tighty Wighty, and Bikini, and...


Politics
I'm the Vice-Pres of the Atheist, Agnostic, and Secular Society. We're holding elections tonight for a new Pres. (I don't want to be it. I don't have time to do the job I've got.) Mostly my concern is that the one person who's being doing all the work for the last 18 months will have to continue to do all the work, and when he graduates there won't be a society any more. We need to start spreading some responsibility around or the club will die, which would be a huge shame.

Health
I'm seeing a chiropractor. Although the ruptured disk is as healed as it will ever be, my pelvis is apparently out of alignment. This is causing me to put 15 more pounds of pressure on my right foot than on my left when I stand. Such misalignment puts a twist in my spine that will make reinjury more likely, so I'm having it sorted. Which is good. I guess. I'm a bit skeptical of chiropractors. They're not doctors. I worry that it's all just so much snake oil. Any thoughts?

Finance
I can't afford the chiropractor. I earn about 100 pounds a week. This is my only regular income. I could earn more, but I don't have time to take on a third job. My rent is 78 pounds a week. I have the remaining 22 to live off and buy things like food, books, and pay for rowing expenses. The chiropractor costs 50 pounds a week, plus 12 pounds a week in bus fares to get there (his office is in a different city). Ow. I'm afraid this will hurt my wallet more than it will help my back.

Arts
Went to see Ladysmith Black Mambazo at Colston Hall last night. They were amazing. Rich, soulful, powerful, and even a bit camp at times. At one point a bunch of women jumped up on stage and started hugging the guys! There is not enough music in my life right now. It was wonderful to sit there with their round, full harmonies filling my ears. I needed that.

Celebrity
Our Roving Reporter spotted the Pirate this weekend down at the Bristol boat house on the Avon near Bath. He was helping his stiff, sore, pathetic, degenerate, dejected girlfriend lift her scull out of the water. Later, our source informs us, he took her to his gym to get a proper workout in, since her water session was too painful for her back and she returned after doing a paltry 3k. At the gym he spotted her while she did an upper body weights circuit and helped her stretch afterwards. Later that evening (according to our snoop) he spend nearly an hour giving her a full-body deep muscle massage with lots of beramot-scented oil and a rolling pin.

Obituaries
Daisy the Wonderbeagle passed away last week. She had to be put down owing to excessive feebleness and inability to hold her pee. She leaves behind 4 grieving bipeds and numerous friends and admirers. She was 15 1/2.

Horoscope
Your position is shaky right now, but that is temporary. You will find a way out, as you always do. In love, you are coming to a crux. Soon you will know for certain where you stand, one way or the other.

11 comments:

llewtrah said...

My parents both saw chiropracters at the recommendation of their doctor. Dad eventually needed back surgery on his disk, but got short term relief from the chiropracter. Mum had a few sessions and her back problem was resolved. If you can't afford it, ask to be referred for normal physio.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

The physio costs even more. That's why I stopped seeing him.

Geosomin said...

My brother's gone to a chiropractor to fix a back/shoulder problem and swears by it. As long as they aren't manipulating you neck, I can't see it being a bad thing. I've heard that chiropractor + massage is best...

Rimshot said...

Well, I assume my $0.02 will sway you to go to a chiro. I've always been wary of their pseudo-medical ways. I wouldn't see one myself, but that's just me.

I hope your club finds some vibrant, new blood to replace the outgoing. Have you thought of finding leadership through recruitment of new members?

That Pirate fellow sounds like a wonderful gentleman.

FirstNations said...

seconding chiro and massage. it sorted out a terrible back problem i got years ago from throwing an engine block and a transmission bellhousing and then punching my truck. moral: never work pissed off.
i was racked up bad-and it worked. i just ignored all the 'wonder vitamins and spirulina' crap.

$$ worries caused by health? THIS IS WHAT MOM AND DAD ARE FOR. NOW CALL.

homo escapeons said...

Politics,
Usually being VP means that you are learning the ropes (and cleaning up the messes) so that you will inherit the Crown.
Are you trying to make a mockery of Divine Right?

Chiroquacktors?,
One should always be leary of having a 'correction' performed by a practioner named after Chiroptera, the order of flying mammals that occupy the Belfry.

Finance,
When you are rich and famous you will need these lean years to draw upon in order to pen your Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

Arts,
Very Cool. I remember seeing Robin Williams channeling LBM
"Koombayla man,
Koombayla
Koombayla
Koombayla man..
float on."

Celebrity,
*wink

Daisy.((gulp))
We went to visit the brand new Humane Society digs the other day..it has been six years since Jack left..still can't do it. But I did see a marvelous special on Charles Shultz last night and he is right. "Happiness is a warm puppy"...I said puppy.

Horoscope Schmoroscope,
Dig out your old JAM vinyl:
"This is the modern world.."

oread the SSA said...

no! on the quackage. i refer you to Penn and Teller's Bullshit! program on Shotime. I am pretty sure you can find it on YT.
Yes to anti-inflamatories and convincing the Pirate to rub your back with some tiger balm. Or use one of those "back massagers" ahem winkwink for an actual back massage - they actually work.

Dave said...

All this suffering will help to make you a more rounded person, and in years to come you will look back and laugh.

I realise this doesn't help at the time one bit.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

rimshot: yeah, i've always been skeptical of them myself. i'm only going because my head coach really really really strongly urged me to. and yes, pirate is the most wonderful, gentle man in the world.

fn: apparently the great thing about this particular chiro is that he does some massage before every manipulation. he says that by loosening and relaxing the muscles before twisting my spine around they are more receptive to the new position of the bones and don't pull things back into the old, wrong alignment. and mom and dad are helping, but the exchange rate is shit and i can't ask any more of them.

homoE: happiness is indeed a warm puppy. with belly chubb. belly chubb is key. barring that, a warm pirate.

ssa: yeah, i've seen the P&T eiposode to which you refer. (dad bought me the whole first season on dvd last xmas.) that's a big chunk of the reason i'm so skeptical. i'm also desperate. but that makes me even more worried that i can be easily taken advantage of. oh fuck i don't know.

dave: i'm already rounded. surely you saw my backside when you were here?!

Dave said...

I thought we'd agreed not to tell people about that incident.

Rimshot said...

YAY! Number 52,000!