Remember the whole chocolate fountain thing? One thing I left out of the story was this:
After the idiots told me they couldn't set up at the agreed time I began looking for replacement suppliers. I Googled "chocolate fountain Bristol" and just started phoning down the list. One conversation went as such:
Me: (briefly explains situation)
Chocolate woman: Well, I suppose I could do it. I am technically free that day, but I'm not really taking bookings for the month of September. My teenage son was killed in a car crash on Monday and we haven't had the funeral yet... *starts to get choked up* ...but you're in a pinch...
Me: No! No, chocolate is not important. I don't want a fountain. Never mind. Oh God I'm so sorry... *hangs up*