Monday, August 26, 2013

A Note on Identity

Some of you (ha! I haven't had a hit for ages!) may be wondering if I, Moominmama, am the same person as Chaucer's Bitch, aka Mrs Chaucer's Pirate, and if so, why change?

Firstly, yes, I am.

Secondly, well, the old moniker just didn't fit me any more.  Pirate and I are still very much together, but the whole Chaucer thing is feeling more and more like a past life.  It just doesn't feel as relevant, or certainly not as dominant in my life any more. 

And it occurred to me, maybe that's why I've found it so difficult to blog ever since getting married.  Marriage was a massive life change for both of us, and I just couldn't squeeze myself back into my old avatar anymore, as it were.

Recently I've been struggling emotionally.  The NHS has been surprisingly deft and supportive (maybe they take depressed people more seriously if they are pregnant, I dunno), but Pirate suggested that a return to blogging and hence, writing, would be therapeutic.  He's not wrong.

But to start again I needed to start over, just a bit.   I didn't change URL or site name, becasue that would feel like jettisoning my old life, which is not what I want.  All the old posts are still there, becasuse all the old stories are still a part of me, and I treasure them.

Just the look, layout, and pseudonym are new.

So, why Moominmama?  She's my idol.  I adore Moominmama; she is (almost) everthing to which I aspire.  And I don't think that's aiming low, so please don't sit there thinking, "Oh Christ, another intelligent, ambitious woman who let her brain turn to porridge just becasue she had kids."  No. No no no no no no.

My brain is still here, and it still works (mostly), my priorities and the rhythm of my life have changed for a while.  Motherhood is a full time occupation, period.  If it doesn't consume your life, you're doing something wrong, frankly.  I sill have ambitions, but they are on hold until the kids are a bit more independent and, quite honestly, in school full time.  Until then, this is who I am.

I will try not to turn this into a baby blog, becasue one of the things I need and crave is to think about something other than babies and potty training now and again.  So there will be thougths of a politial and philosophical nature appearing now and again.

That said, I am pregnant, and come the New Year, there will be a small(ish), squirming, pink, hungy, pongy parasite to deal with, so a few baby-related posts are inevitable.  I will try to be funny.  I make no guarantees.

Do, please, visit often and leave your retorts in the comments box, becasue they make me feel loved. No, really.

3 comments:

Zig said...

hello dear pregnant S - how nice to make your aquaintance again. Lovely to see you have taken to motherhood like a duck to jelly :)
I have often thought of you and wondered where you were how you were etc - glad all seems 'normal' whatever that is...

What happened to the cakes?

Moominmama said...

Hi Zig! No time for cakes! Hyperactive 2-year-old VERY time-consuming. :) Pirate now taking on baking mantle, as you will see.

We're moving back to the west-country next month; we won't be far from you. You must come 'round for a visit!

Zig said...

It's a date!