Butterflies in my tummy

Hmm.  It appears while I have been on indefinite hiatus blogger has changed its format.  Now I'm going to have to re-learn how to operate the blasted thing.  Ugh.

Right, so, the main reason I haven't climbed back in the saddle as regularly as hoped is that the OCD part of me hates to leave gaps in a narrative, and there's far too much missing to catch you up on everything, ergo I've fallen too far behind to start up again.  The mountain is insurmountable, or something.

So I've just had the artistic, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, leaves-tea-cups-everywhere side of my brain beat the OCD side into temporary submission and put up a post. It would be nice to have some comments from the old gang, if any of you are still out there.

I'm not even going to try to give you a summary of the past two years, I'm just going to start as though I'd never stopped, and maybe now and again fill in a bit of back story maybe.

Yesterday Small Pirate, aka Pirette, did the most extraordinary thing.  She was watching telly and playing with her magnadoodle (which hadly leaves her side).  The man on TV was talking about butterflies.  She scribbled on her magnadoodle for a moment, then waved wildly to get my attention from the kitchen.  I turned around and she made the sign for butterfly (we do a lot of signing around here), then pointed at her magnadoodle. This is what I saw:

And she's not even 2 yet!  My baby's a GYNIUS!

As the hippopatomus of time

flatulates on the marathon runner of style as it ambles along the road of BBC comedy, so goes the great Humphrey Lyttleton.

RIP you sarcastic, sodding, talented genius.

The 70s Rock

In my quest to expand my music collection (remember that whinge, about a year ago), i FINALLY went and bought a few CDs. (Mostly because the Waterstones that was downstairs from me closed and was replaced by a Fopp, which sells CDs for 3-5 pounds apiece. Fab.) I got:

• Creedence Clearwater Revival, Recollection (2 CD set)
• The Very Best of the Electric Light Orchestra (stop laughing, damnit), and
• AC/DC Live: 2 CD Collector's addition

What did i pay for all this musical wonderousness? 15 pounds, bitch! It's even cheaper than iTunes!!!

(I stopped short of buying Meatloaf's Bat out of Hell III. I loved BoH I & II, but they wanted 12 quid for no. III and I'm pore, damnit! Anyone out there got a copy I can burn?)



I'm on a hiiiiiii-way to HELL! I'm on a hiiiiiiiiii-way to HELL! *bangs head like deranged cockatoo*

You better not *wink wink* in a pear tree!

This is the best Xmas medley ever of all time. I don't wanna think what rehersals must have been like!!!

Sex, drugs, and the inevitable conclusion

So after the last two posts I guess I need to write something about Rock and Roll. Except what I know about Rock and Roll could be carved in courier caps on the Pirate's big toe nail.* I thought about putting up a link to Herebe's place, because he knows everything about Rock and Roll that I don't (which is all of it), but that would be a cop-out. So instead this is going to be an educational post... my education.

I'm getting bored with my current music collection and I want to find some new artists that I like. This is not easy for me. There are a lot of new artists out there, I'm picky, and I don't listen to the radio (except for Radio 4), which, I understand, is the main was of learning about 'hot new talent' (as they say in the 'biz).

So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to tell you some of my favorite artists and what I like about them, and you're going to play the Amazon game and suggest some new artists/groups/vocalists that you think I might like, based on your assessment of my taste. Sound like fun? No? Do it anyway.

I Like:

Simon and Garfunkel
Meatloaf
Brian Adams
Melissa Etheridge
Def Leppard (especially "Rocket," best drumbeat EVER)
some Billy Joel
Boyz 2 Men (ok, that's Motown not Rock, I know that much)
Indigo Girls
Jeff Buckley
some Kaiser Chiefs
Journey (stop laughing)
The Monkees
The Pogues
Flogging Molly
QUEEN!!!!
some Green Day (American Idiot is a great tune)
Survivor


In general, I like music with
a. Words I can understand
b. energy and a good beat, and
c. (and this is KEY) a melody I can hum
Inarticulate screaming rage just doesn't do it for me, I'm afraid.


So, my little Amazons! Can you suggest any recent artists that I might like? (You'll notice there's nothing on that list more recent than about 7 years old, and only a small amount of that. Most of it's from the 80's.)


I can't wait to read the comments!



*the Pirate doesn't have a nail on his big toe. Seriously.

The News in Brief

and Thong, and Tighty Wighty, and Bikini, and...


Politics
I'm the Vice-Pres of the Atheist, Agnostic, and Secular Society. We're holding elections tonight for a new Pres. (I don't want to be it. I don't have time to do the job I've got.) Mostly my concern is that the one person who's being doing all the work for the last 18 months will have to continue to do all the work, and when he graduates there won't be a society any more. We need to start spreading some responsibility around or the club will die, which would be a huge shame.

Health
I'm seeing a chiropractor. Although the ruptured disk is as healed as it will ever be, my pelvis is apparently out of alignment. This is causing me to put 15 more pounds of pressure on my right foot than on my left when I stand. Such misalignment puts a twist in my spine that will make reinjury more likely, so I'm having it sorted. Which is good. I guess. I'm a bit skeptical of chiropractors. They're not doctors. I worry that it's all just so much snake oil. Any thoughts?

Finance
I can't afford the chiropractor. I earn about 100 pounds a week. This is my only regular income. I could earn more, but I don't have time to take on a third job. My rent is 78 pounds a week. I have the remaining 22 to live off and buy things like food, books, and pay for rowing expenses. The chiropractor costs 50 pounds a week, plus 12 pounds a week in bus fares to get there (his office is in a different city). Ow. I'm afraid this will hurt my wallet more than it will help my back.

Arts
Went to see Ladysmith Black Mambazo at Colston Hall last night. They were amazing. Rich, soulful, powerful, and even a bit camp at times. At one point a bunch of women jumped up on stage and started hugging the guys! There is not enough music in my life right now. It was wonderful to sit there with their round, full harmonies filling my ears. I needed that.

Celebrity
Our Roving Reporter spotted the Pirate this weekend down at the Bristol boat house on the Avon near Bath. He was helping his stiff, sore, pathetic, degenerate, dejected girlfriend lift her scull out of the water. Later, our source informs us, he took her to his gym to get a proper workout in, since her water session was too painful for her back and she returned after doing a paltry 3k. At the gym he spotted her while she did an upper body weights circuit and helped her stretch afterwards. Later that evening (according to our snoop) he spend nearly an hour giving her a full-body deep muscle massage with lots of beramot-scented oil and a rolling pin.

Obituaries
Daisy the Wonderbeagle passed away last week. She had to be put down owing to excessive feebleness and inability to hold her pee. She leaves behind 4 grieving bipeds and numerous friends and admirers. She was 15 1/2.

Horoscope
Your position is shaky right now, but that is temporary. You will find a way out, as you always do. In love, you are coming to a crux. Soon you will know for certain where you stand, one way or the other.

Dear Art,

I've never written a fan letter before, but your performance at Bristol Colston Hall was so breathtaking I came straight home to write to you. I wish I could tell you this in person, but the guys in black T-shirts standing outside your coach were resolute.

What I want to say is this: thank you.

Your voice is one of the most stirring I've ever heard, and the world is a better place for having such beauty in it. Thank you for sharing your gift with us tonight, and for the last 30 years. As long as you draw breath in, I hope you let it out again in song.

You made several self-depricating references tonight to your part in the great Simon & Garfunkel duo, but I want you to know that the people in that hall did not pay 35 pounds each to hear the budget half of Simon & Garfunkel; they came to hear you. You, the artist. You, with your voice like warm snowflakes. You, with your passion and spirit that, after countless hundreds, if not thousands, of performances of Bridge Over Troubled Water and Sounds of Silence, has not diminished. If anything, the passion in your voice has grown over the years, because it now carries not only the electricity of idealism, but the force of experience as well.

So thank you. Thank you for sharing your gift, your warmth, your beauty, your energy, your song.

Sincerely,

Your fan

Goddamn poverty

Last night I was ecstatic because I learned that Art Garfunkel* is playing Colston Hall next Thursday evening, and I determined to go.

This morning I want to kill myself because tickets cost an entire week's wages, so I can't.

Goddamn poverty.






*Art Garfunkel is my favorite vocalist of all time. His songwriting abilities are no match for Paul Simon's, but his voice is a gift to the human race: lighter than a feather in orbit, gentle as warm snowflakes. I grew up listening to his music, and his voice is as familiar and soothing to me as my own mother's.