A memo from the desk of TMI

I have vericose veins. On my...






...fanny flaps.



Apparently vulvar verices (as they are technically known) are common in around 10% of pregnancies (though that's considered to be a wild underestimate as it is believed the condition goes largely unreported), and appear most frequently in the fifth month (check) of a woman's second pregnancy (aaaaand check).



God I have being unoriginal.

It's not that I don't love you anymore

I do, really and truly. And I think about you guys and wonder what you're up to. (One could argue that if I want to know what you're up to then I should log in and find out. But that would be logical.)

It's just that when i lived in Bristol I was a maiden trapped in a small room in the 7th floor of an ivory tower block, and my computer was my main connection to the outside world. Now the outside world is, well, just outside. I walk through my door and rather than finding a stinky, loud, smelly city full of torn bin bags, skantily clad drunk students, and crapping seagulls, I find a lovely garden full of sunflowers and sweatpeas and zinnias and corn and tomatoes. And if I go a little further than that there are other houses, with actual people in them. Meat people. And some of them are really nice. And we play board games and walk to the shops and keep each other company.

And there's the house itself, always with things to do, meals to cook, and laundry to fold. (Always with the fucking laundry. Jesus-H.-Christ-on-a-pogo-stick that man generates a lot of laundry.) And I find I just can't bring myself to sit in front of a computer for one milisecond than is longer than absolutely necessary. And not even that long. I've become abslutely crap at checking my email. It's driving my mother up the wall, but I figure that's fair revenge for being driven up the wall by her before the wedding.

So I'm still around, and I still love you all, I'm just unplugging for a while. I'll still be here intermittenly, so feel free to stop by. I like hearing from you. I just won't be a daily poster any more. Maybe at some point in the future I'll return to being a more regular writer, but in the meantime I think I'll stick to Big News. (I'm hoping that before next Christmas I'll have some Big News to share with you.)

There. That seems a good place to leave off. Always best to leave the readers hanging.

Crazy anonymous de-lurking revealed!

Well, I finally found out who the anonymous goof-ball is that's been leaving tantalizing comments alluding to a shared past. It was one of my original suspects, the one i dismissed on the grounds that the grammar and punctuation in his comments was too good, and i would have expected more internet/texting-style shorthand from this individual.

He's a great guy with whom I was friends throughout high school (even "dated" for a short time, if you can call it that. I don't think we ever kissed, but we saw a few Disney films together over the summer and had some nice picnics.)

He took me to the homecoming dance, um, Freshman year? I think it was Freshman year. I remember that I was wearing a red dress when every single other girl in the school was wearing black velvet that year, and both his parents and one of his brothers were working as chaperones, and they spaced themselves strategically around the gym so we were never out of sight of one of them. I have never felt so conspicuous in my entire life.

Now he's living and working in Virginia with his wife and 2 kids, and seems to be well and happy, and that is good. We haven't spoken in some years, but it's nice to get back in touch. For a long time after high school I was really bitter about the way I was treated by my classmates (the girls were almost universally bitchy, snotty, petty, shallow, shrill, and two-faced, and most of the guys could have put "sexual harassment" as their #1 extra-curricular activity) and deliberately severed all connections with that life. Mostly now I'm over that chip (mostly), and getting back in touch doesn't seem to be dredging up the awful memories I thought it would. So that's good.

must be getting old

i was accosted today by a half dozen children (and i do mean children--the oldest was no more than 10), who pulled me off my bike and tried to rob me. it was pathetic. they clearly had no idea what they were doing, and i had nothing worth stealing. finally the impetulant punks literally demanded the shirt off my back (i just bought this shirt at a regatta. i love it. it says 'set the water alight'), to which i announced they would have to take it off me. i was acutally hoping they would, just so i'd have an excuse to pound the midget miscreants (some stress relief would do me good right about now), but they caved. i'm looking forward to riding my bike home. if they're still on the path setting up little barricades i'm just going to plough right through them. can we say "bowling for street urchins?" as i rode off, i actually found myself muttering "kids these days. what's the world coming to?" yep. gettin old.