Tuesday, November 02, 2004

the inevitable election blog

well, i've put if off as long as i could. those of you who know me well may be surprised that i've not mentioned the presidential election yet, given that i am an internationally renowned political junkie. yes, i'm a true Party animal, and this morning i excercised my right to contribute to our (theoretically) representative government and voted. the reason i've been so quiet on the subject thus far is not that i've been quietly evalutating the candidates, reflecting on their qualifications, and carefully contemplating my decision or anything else equally lame-brained. this is a no-brainer if ever there was one. no my friends, the reason that i've not been blogging about the election is because i have nothing to say on the subject that hasn't already been said over and over again, and subsequently ignored by millions of myopic, evangellical rednecks. i could state all the evidence that W has the IQ of a feces-flinging, lower-order primate and that Dick Cheney has the moral compass of a Colombian drug czar (John Ashcroft will probably arrest me just for typing this. I'm sure i'm in violation of the Patriot Act and screw the First Ammendment), but the evidence is there for any reasonably rational person to see and understand. Those voting for Kerry have seen and believed, and anyone still supporing W is willfully ignorant and will not be swayed. This is in accord with Sarte's first law of thermopolitics, "In order to change one's mind, one must first be in possession of a mind." Ergo, depending on the intelligence of you, the reader, I will either be preaching to the choir or screaming at a wall. pointless either way. Suffice it to say that i've voted and i will now spend the rest of the day cleaning house and trying to ignore my bleeding stomach ulcers. We've got people coming over tonight after the polls close to watch the returns come in. Either we'll be partying till dawn or we'll be drowning our sorrows and buying plane tickets to canada, but regardless, we're all better off in the company of friends. To all of you who will be deeply affected by the outcome of this election (i.e., citizens of plante earth) and are powerless to voice your opinion (either because you live in another country or a state (such as texas) which will vote overwhelmingly for W and therefore if you are voting for kerry your vote doesn't matter), my heart goes out to you. the fate of many nations rests on this election, but it will be decided by a couple million americans who are fortunate enough to live in politically convenient states (thank god i'm one of them). as for the rest of you poor, disenfranchized schmucks, my heart, spirit, and thoughts are with you. Illegitimus non carborundum est.

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