Happy New Year

I've just returned from a very pleasant, slothful weekend up north with my parents and their long-time best friends, my aunt empathay and uncle ralph. they've got a nice vacation property up near honor, michigan, only a couple miles from the lakeshore. even in december, when it's really fucking cold out, it's still beautiful. I knew it was going to be cold because as we drove up from jackson (a distance equivalent to that from london to manchester) the outside air temperature dropped over 20 degrees. we watched the thermometer in the car plummet.

standing on the shore of lake michigan* is always an emotional experience, no matter how many times you've been there, and like the sky, it's always different. at the turn of the year it was somehow fitting and therapeautic to stand on the lonely dunes, with their thinning pates of brittle beach grass, and let the gale force winds off the water blast all the crap from 2004 away. My facade and my soul alike, having been scoured by bleakness of a sea in wintertime, were cleansed and gessoed for 2005's inspiration. I had no idea it would come so quickly.

marraige has been on my brain a lot lately, largely due to the constant reminders of my brother marley's impending marriage to miss happy. I've never been a proponent of the theory of "The One." As Jane Austen wrote, "It is bewitching in the idea of one's happiness depending entirely on one person." I know for a fact that there are numerous people out there with whom I could spend the rest of my life in the enjoyment of their company. I know this because I've met two of them. One is already married to someone else, but the other is not. In each case I had one of those "when you know, you know" moments. But something has been bugging me.

It will probably seem silly to you all (but since you're sitting there reading this crap, I am safely able to declare from my high camel that you are sillier still than i), but i didn't know what to do about the whole wedding thing. almost every girl grows up mentally planning her big, princess dream wedding, and by the time she actually has the opportunity to execute her plans, she knows exactly what she wants. I knew what i wanted. I've had the music picked out since I got my period. The problem is that it was all tied up with the catholic church. I was raised catholic, and it was always assumed by all and sundry that i would have a catholic wedding. then i stopped going to church. at this stage in my life, i'm rather determind not to be married in a catholic church. hearing about marley's wedding plans (lawd is it going to be a sight) has naturally got me thinking how i would do it better, but i've been at a loss.

This weekend, sitting in a recliner by a wood stove looking out over the north woods of michigan, listening to a snoring dog and fantasizing about lord peter whimsey, inspriation knocked on the sliding door and let itself in, politely wiping its feet on the mat. It suggested a venue that is personal, meaningful, original, tasteful, the exact right size, and conveniently located. I can't wait. It's going to be one of those cozy, intimate weddings where the love is tangible and everyone has a swell time. People will talk about it for years. Someone will write a successful serial blog about it. A good wedding should be a reflection of what the couple wants the marriage to be. In this case, warm, affectionate, hip, easy-going, and full of family and close friends.

You wouldn't believe the globe that rolled off my overburdened shoulders when this possiblity presented itself. I myself was astonished by the sense of relief. Apparently this little cunnundrum had been pissing off my subconscious for some time. Now if I can just pursuade the groom to marry me...


*native american word which means "big water"