I have a whopping head cold. This is not surprising. In fact, it was really inevitable. I drugged myself into a stupor last night and managed to sleep soundly for about 10 hours. So soundly that I missed the evacuation of my building.
!
Apparently at about 2 am the pipes on the 3rd floor burst and flooded everything from 3 on down, which is when the building was evacuated. They must not have used the fire alarm to get people out, buecause I slept through the whole thing. I didn't know anything was going on until I got up this morning at half ten, cheerfully left a massive turd in my toilet, went to flush, and nothing happened. Nada. So I in my powder blue bathrobe left my room to go downstairs to the management to complain/notify them that i had no water. Upon opening my door I was confronted with a letter which informed me that they have been forced to turn off water to the entire building, they hope to have it back on in 24 hours, if they don't they'll put us up in hotels, and in the meantime crates of bottled water will be deliverd to our flat.
At least I was able to use my bottle of water to scrape the fuzzy spiders off my teeth. With the aid of lots of deodorant, a little perfume, and a baseball hat to cover my appalling hair, I am almost fit to appear in public. Will find out this evening if I get to sleep in my own room or if I'm being shipped off to somewhere where I can flush a toilet. Thank god I've got an air freshener in my bathroom!
3 comments:
yuck (re: turd) -- too much info!!!!! but then again, i guess this is your blog and you can poo if you want to.
spiders? why are you eating spiders?
madwoman.
yes it's my blog and i can poo if i want to, however, that wasn't just a random poo. it was necesary plot element included to convey to the reader to the profound direness of the situation. it wasn't just a non-flushing toilet. it was non-flushing, stinky, shit-filled toilet. that's different, see?
sal. sal sal sal. my man sal. i don't eat spiders, sal. it's an expression, meaing to brush one's teeth. don't you ever get that feeing (especaially when you've been heavily imbibing the previous night) when you wake up that a coterie of cute little arachnids have collectively knitted 32 fuzzy little sweaters for your teeth? to scrape the spiders is to oralB your mouth back to a state of kissabilaty.
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