Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Sexual imbalance

It all started when I read a recent post of LC's on Sex, Money, and HTML.

Well, no. Actually, it started when I started shagging the Hairy Man. I want to be a good lover. I want for Hairy to enjoy sex as much as I do. I want to rock his world.

I'll admit it: I'm suffering from a mild case of insecurity. I think that's understandable, though, given that I'm still rather a novice at all this.

But LC's post-coital chit-chat got me wondering: What is it that makes a woman dynamite in the sack? External stimuli aside (food, toys, role-playing, etc.), is there some elusive quality or combination of qualities that makes one woman a better lover than another? Enthusiasm? Creativity? Energy? Flexibility? Size of mouth? What?

I began a quest for how-to books for newbie shaggers. And I discovered something interesting:
The vast majority of sexual how-to books are all about how to pleasure a woman. I found things with titles like "The thinking man's guide to pleasureing a woman." Swell. Where's "The thinking woman's guide to pleasureing a man?" Guess what? That one don't exist.

Furthermore, the very few books out there on how to flip his lid are written by women. What the fuck? Granted, I'm sure these women are much more knowledgeable and have had a lot more first-hand experience in these things, and probably have some useful things to offer. But what I'd really like is a man's perspective. Is that so much to ask? I've got this hunch that most men know more about pleasureing men than most women do. Call me crazy.

So why is it that sex advice books are either written by or for women? Are women just more concerned in general with quality screwing? Or do we read and write books about it because we're inherently more insecure? Or are we more secure, and feel more free to share our views and experiences candidly in black and white? Or, dog forbid, is the old addage true? You know, the one that states "all a woman has to do to please a man is to show up."

So this is your chance, men. Starting now, I want you to fill my comments box with what makes a woman a good lover. On your mark, get set... GO!


The Hopeless Romantic said...

That's easy - Bring beer! :)

Billy said...

Equal parts vunerable and bossy. Oh and with a very filthy mouth. :)

hendrix said...

what they said. (although some men hate vunerable and others hate bossy). The beers a given though!

Just relax and stop worrying about it.

If you're still really worried about it - ask him to tell you exactly what he'd like you to do to him (and how he'd like you to do it) Probably not a good idea to do this while the world cups on if he's a football fan otherwise it will go along the lines of bring him beer and snacks while he's watching the match.

Tim Footman said...

We need a soulmate, a shoulder to cry on, a best friend, someone to make us laugh.

And she's got to have big firm tits and if she can suck a bowling ball through a hosepipe that's great too.

First Nations said...

go to the gay q&a-chat sites and adapt for physiology.

No Shit Sherlock said...

Turn up naked, bring beer.
And what Tim Footman said.

Sal said...

the REAL secret? for ALL girls? they should stop stressing and playacting and just focus on what the guy likes rather than focus on how much they want him to like them. nothing arouses harder than genuine empathy.

but also:
Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man

MichaelWho said...

A woman who doesn't need to read a book about sex, maybe.

ZB said...

Michaelwho - a woman who doesn't need to read a book about sex? Because we're all born shit hot at it? Our first fumbles are the sort of moves that Casanova would weep to have pulled? Because we don't get better with practise? Because we're not all different and have different likes and dislikes?

I think not.

Personally, someone who treats the tip with a touch like velvet and doesn't try and yank the bastard thing out by the root is heading in the right direction.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

Thanks, ZB, my knight in shining laytex.

*raises glass of orange squash* Here's to hoping that one day I get to put that bit of information to good use. *gulps*