It all started when I read a recent post of LC's on Sex, Money, and HTML.
Well, no. Actually, it started when I started shagging the Hairy Man. I want to be a good lover. I want for Hairy to enjoy sex as much as I do. I want to rock his world.
I'll admit it: I'm suffering from a mild case of insecurity. I think that's understandable, though, given that I'm still rather a novice at all this.
But LC's post-coital chit-chat got me wondering: What is it that makes a woman dynamite in the sack? External stimuli aside (food, toys, role-playing, etc.), is there some elusive quality or combination of qualities that makes one woman a better lover than another? Enthusiasm? Creativity? Energy? Flexibility? Size of mouth? What?
I began a quest for how-to books for newbie shaggers. And I discovered something interesting:
The vast majority of sexual how-to books are all about how to pleasure a woman. I found things with titles like "The thinking man's guide to pleasureing a woman." Swell. Where's "The thinking woman's guide to pleasureing a man?" Guess what? That one don't exist.
Furthermore, the very few books out there on how to flip his lid are written by women. What the fuck? Granted, I'm sure these women are much more knowledgeable and have had a lot more first-hand experience in these things, and probably have some useful things to offer. But what I'd really like is a man's perspective. Is that so much to ask? I've got this hunch that most men know more about pleasureing men than most women do. Call me crazy.
So why is it that sex advice books are either written by or for women? Are women just more concerned in general with quality screwing? Or do we read and write books about it because we're inherently more insecure? Or are we more secure, and feel more free to share our views and experiences candidly in black and white? Or, dog forbid, is the old addage true? You know, the one that states "all a woman has to do to please a man is to show up."
So this is your chance, men. Starting now, I want you to fill my comments box with what makes a woman a good lover. On your mark, get set... GO!