I was at a CMS party recently (Centre for Medieval Studies), which consisted of a 2 inadequate pizzas and a cheesy VP movie from the 60s, selected because it was nominally set in the middle ages (though what century was anyone's guess). It was called The Mask of the Red Death or some such, and it was a bit of a cross between the Pardoner's Tale, the Princess Bride, and Josepph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. It really should have been named Vincent and the Amazing Technicolor Plague Movie. But no one asked me.
You know how some movies are so bad, they're good? (Clash of the Titans leaps to mind.) This one wasn't. It was just bad.
But it had all the necessary elements of a corny VP horror movie. I was ticking them off a mental list as the movie wore on. This led me to think that there really ought to be a...
VINCENT PRICE MOVIE DRINKING GAME!
Here are The Rules: take a drink whenever...
- you hear disembodied maniacle laughter
- a girl in a nightgown is someplace she shouldn't be
- a girl wipes a cobweb off her face
- a candle blows out for no apparent reason
- the violins in the score give you your emotional cues
- a chair that appears empty from behind swivels slowly to reveal the presence of the villian (two drinks if the villain is Vincent)
- someone makes a dramatic exit by swining a cape over his shoulders
- Vincent says "Oh no, my dear."
- someone is startled by a dead, stuffed, and mounted animal trophy
- a girl screams
- someone whispers a mundane bit of dialogue for dramatic effect
- the curtains blow
- a corpse opens it's eyes (two drinks if the corpse is Vincent.)