Monday, January 15, 2007

Birthday musings

It was my birthday last Friday. (hence the reason I didn't get any blogging done over the weekend. There were too many goings-on.) I am 28.

It's not that I object to being 28 per se. It's that I object to being just 2 years shy of 30. Something about that "3" just gives me the willies.

Since my b-day follows right on the heels of the new year, I spend a lot of time in January navel-gazing. New year, another year older, etc etc. This year I am astonished at how much my life has changed in such a short time. I can't help but look at where I was this time last year an be astonished at everything that's happened since then.

Last year at the New Year i didn't make any resolutions. I was depressed. I was in Bristol, in England, doing what I wanted to do, but I was profoundly lonely. I had very nice flatmates, all of whom were in relationships. I had very nice friends in my department, all of whom were in relationships. I was still recovering from the emotional trauma of being deported from England, and the worse trauma of not getting the warm reception from my friends that I desperately wanted. When I arrived in Bristol I hoped that the almost-flames I left behind in Manchester would rev up in a proper conflagration, but alas no. Nothin' doin'. I was depressed, convinced I would be alone forever, and focused on my work because I had nothing else besides my research and rowing. I hadn't been kissed or on any kind of a date in over 8 years.

It was on my birthday last year that one of my flatmates dragged me out to a club to get drunk and dance. It was on that night I met The Hot Scot, and pulled for the first time ever. THS made me realize what I'd been missing out on. It was that snog (and lord, what a snog!) that inspired me to join a dating service.

It was on that dating service that I met the Hairy Man, and I began to know was it was to be happy.

And it was the confidece I gained from my relationship with the Hairy Man that made my relationship with the Pirate possible. I am convinced that had I been at the party where the P and I met in my pre-Hairy state of depression that he never would have found me even the least bit attractive.

I am reminded in this saga of a book my mom used to read me call "The Little Bug That Went Ah-Choo!" In the book a bug sneezes and the result of that sneeze, by the last page of the story, is the most extaordinary parade the town has ever seen. In my case, it all started because I went to a club with my flatmate on my 27th birthday. On the 28th birtday I sat in my kitchen, looking across the counter at most wonderful man I've ever met (as he devoured the chicken and dumplings I fixed for dinner), and thought, I'm happy.

I hope 2007 brings you all as much joy and wonderfment as 2006 brought me. xxoo

10 comments:

hendrix said...

"...and thought, I'm happy." That sudden realisation is one of the best feelings in the world - may you have many more moments like that in 2007!

Hannah said...

That's fantastic to hear. And eternally may it continue!

Da Nator said...

Happy Birthday, and may the rest of your year be grand!

Incidentally, despite missing the figure I had in my 20s, I'd say the 30s are waaaay better. So, don't be afraid...

Valerie said...

Well, WOOHOOO!!!! :) And happy birthday. Don' fear the 30s, my 30s were 10x better than my 20s and my 20s were pretty damn good. Now in the 40s, but so far so good ;-)

Miss Melville said...

Happy birthday, babe! I think that perhaps the best part of seeing you over the winter holiday was (other than making fun of your head bands and barettes) seeing how happy you are now. Gives the rest of us hope, etc. Enjoy it, m'dear-- honestly, it's about damn time!

lawyerina said...

Have lurked for some time. Am de-lurking to say happy birthday!

The 30s are great, so far, and are, I am informed, the new 20s. Without the mass insecurity and directionlessness (is that a word?).

Mancboomerang said...

If it's any comfort, my thirties so far have been much better than my twenties. Then again, I was so repressed about all things it's possible to be repressed about in my twenties I'm a poor comparitor.
I am 38 this year and know precisely what you mean about being 2 years from the next decade. I recommend parking such thoughts in a dark recess of your mind and never go there again.

Sassy Sundry said...

Happy Birthday.

I'm going to echo Machoomerang. So far, the thirties are much, much better than the twenties. The big "3" scared me, too, and I have been pleasantly surprised.

Good for you with the online dating thing. Changed things for me too.

Great blog, by the way. And excellent name.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

hendrix: yeah, it is. *smug* right back atcha!

Hannah: thank you, love. u 2.

da Nator: no fear! bring it!

valerie: that does seem to be the general consensus. groovy.

hellooooooo, miss melville! god you are such a nerd. :-) and yes, the barettes were entirely mock-worthy. i just wish there was some other way to keep my sodding hair out of my face!

lawyerina: thanks for de-lurking! welcome! and hey, if the POTUS can make up words, then damnit so can we.

mancB: ok, i'll stop thinking about it for a decade. I'll let you know when i start flipping out about the big "4".

Sassy: welcome! thanks for the compliments. take off your coat and stay awhile.

Karen said...

Woo hoo CB! My birthday (34) was also last friday. The best day of the year, in my humble opinion. It sounds like this is turning out to be a wonderful year for you and I hope that it continues. And as many of the other posters said, the 30's are much better than your 20's. No need to fear.

And just so you know, our local paper wrote up our horoscope for the full year (I'll post a link to it on my blog later today). The gist of what it said? Lots of sex and travel. I'm VERY excited!