The Loot

This is the post where I tell you about all the neato stuff I got for my birfday. Mum and dad sent much needed $$$. Sr. Aunt PITA also sent $ and a book titled "Mysteries of the Middle Ages." (It looks interesting, but I question the scholarship and the agenda of the author. Will read with grain of salt near at hand.) The bro and sis-in-law sent me one of these:


Yay! now i can make my own smoothies and creamed soups and all kinds of yumminess. (Frozen cocktails has nothing to do with it, I swear.)



But the biggest surprises of all came from the Pirate and his parents.

(are you excited yet? I bet you're getting excited. You guys eat this shit up like a flock of seagulls on a corpse in a landfill.*)

Well! A package arrived in the mail, and it was Royal Mail not international so I knew it wasn't from my fam. I didn't recognize the handwriting, so I knew it wasn't any of the handful of friends I had scattered around the country. It was wrapped in brown paper and tied up with string. (I shit you not. My life really has become a Julie Andrews movie. {Not "Victor Victoria"}) I tore it open. It was a gigantic, gorgeous book titled, "Masterpieces of Illumination: the most significant manuscripts from 600 to 1400." Somebody knows me pretty damn well. I was really touched.

It was Friday evening, the day of my actual anniversary of entering the world (after a 17-hour labor, which I'm told was attributed to my shaving my legs and deciding what to wear**). The Man Himself came over, fairly late as he'd been training that evening for a national sports competition. He took me in his arms and said...

(are you salivating yet?)

"For your birthday present....

later this weekend...

I'm taking you over to Bath...

(and yes, he really was pausing after every clause, in a warped, Shatner-esque attempt to build suspense. It worked.)

where all the nice shops are...

to go shopping for...

(by this point I was almost hyperventilating)

a...

new...

evening gown!"

Ok, so it wasn't small, round, and shiny. But still, how fucking cool is that???? I've never gotten to pick out a proper gown before. I own 2, but one is a leftover from when I was a bridesmaid and I didn't get to select it, and the other I bought for 2 reasons and 2 reasons only: 1, it fit; and 2, it was cheap. I bought it to be disposable, and I've been wearing it for 3 years. So The Pirate is taking me out to doll me up in proper, high-class evening attire, along with all the necessary tailoring and underpinnings. Whoo-hoo!

We spent all day Sunday in Bath, but there was nothing. Only a few evening gowns left in the shops, and nothing to write home about. (Apparently it's not the season for purchasing formal evening wear.) After a disappointing afternoon in which I only managed to even try on 2 dresses, the Pirate is already hatching a plan to take me to London, where the shopping is legendary. Sa-weet. This is going to be phun with a capital "ph." I'll post pics when we find something we like. :0)

(and I can't help but wonder if the reason he wants to get me new gown is because he has some specific event in mind where I will need such an ensemble. I wouldn't say it's likely, but it's just possible. Stay tuned...)


*Note to self: insulting readership probably not best way to win friends and influence people.

**Ironic, as I've not shaved my legs since and I really don't give a toss about what I've got on.