etc.

Thanks guys for all your love and support. (Anyone passing a hat around yet?*)

Hey, did anyone else notice I passed 30,000 hits today? Yay! It's sad that that stupid ticker should make me feel loved and validated, and yet...

So plans are in the works. I've applied for a few part time jobs, I've sorted out arrangements with my landlord so I don't get evicted, I've sent apps for a few emergency scholarships and hardship funds, and while those are cooking I'll continue to look for more.

It's a pisser that I won't be able to compete at rowing this spring. You lot know how much I love it -- it's in my blood, a burning desire, a religious need -- but at the end of the day it's only one season, and if the worst thing that happens to me is that I miss out one season of racing while working a p/t job, well, I'm still pretty fucking fortunate. Sure a lot of people have it a fuck lot easier than me, but a lot of people have it worse, too.

I read the letter I received rescinding my scholarship to my mum. It began "Dear (my name)." I didn't tell her what it was beforehand, I just started reading it, and her first reaction was that the Pirate was dumping me in a letter. That got me thinking, watching 5 grand dry up and blow away sucks big time, but i'd rather lose 5 large than the P any day. I'd rather lose any amount of money than him. I think as long as I have him to love and be loved by I can survive anything. And that's an encouraging thought.

So it's not the end of the world. It just requires a little adjusting of the schedule for the next few months, and it means I'll have a bit less fun. But it's not the end of the world. (I keep telling myself that.)

The other silver lining is that my parents are coming to Brizzle for a visit next September, so that'll be fun.

Ooh, and if you're really really really really really bored, go back a few posts and check out the comments thread on I Can't Let This One Slide. It's gotten wicked out of hand.


*Just kidding.**


**actually no, i'm not kidding.