Saturday, February 24, 2007

Blinded by the stars

It's funny how things work. It's so easy to watch the news and become complacent, to allow yourself to be decieved into thinking that everything is crap and everyone on the planet is an asshole. We all have one, but not all of us are one. Everywhere you look there are nice people doing selfless things.* These people deserve baked goods. (I can't afford gilt statuettes, i'm sorry.)

In order to publicly recognize the selflessness of particular bloggers who have recently gone out of their way to do very nice things, I hereby create the following awards:

The award for the Most Helpful Comment goes to Just a Girl, for pointing out to me the blindingly easy way to put my old counter in my new sidebar, when I tried 10 other unnecessarily complex things and came up dry.

The award for Most Accomodating (aslo known as Most Willing to do a Stupid Task for No Visible Reason) goes to Dave, for assisting me in a failed experiment to fix my header. That the experiment failed was no fault of his. I just need to learn more about HTML coding.

Then there are some spurts of generosity that are so beneficent, so outrageous, so totally uncalled-for, that baked goods are simply inadequate thanks. These people were not asked for anything, but spontaneously and without any provocation bestowed upon me gifts both pragmatic and thoughtful. For these people, nothing short of homemade booze can express my gratitude.

The award for Most Random Giving of Most Random Kitchen Appliance goes to the immortal LC, who sent me a waffle maker. Oh, but not just any waffle maker! No, mis companeros, this waffle maker makes heart-shaped waffles! Romantic breakfasts in bed just got a whole lot sillier.

And finally, the award for the Most Thoughtful Warmer of Toes by Someone With Whom I Do Not Have A Sexual Relationship goes to our very own Timorous Beastie, who at Christmas time remembered that I have perpetually frozen toes owing to too many years of snow-shovelling, rowing, and falling in freezing cold rivers and sent me a bunch of chemical toe-warmer packs to keep the ol' tootsies toastie while I'm sculling and cycling here in the frigid British Isles.

The downside of this little award ceremony (if I knew hot to make my blog play music I would have for this post) is that you don't get to wear fancy tuxes and ball gowns and walk down a red carpet. On the other hand, you do get to escape being accosted by Joan and Melissa Rivers, so really it all comes out in the wash.

Thanks, everyone!


*If, when you read that statement, the first thing that leapt to your mind was Hugh Grant's voice saying "Love, actually, is all around," you need to cut back on the rom-coms. Serioulsy.

9 comments:

First Nations said...

I don't feel bad; I don't feel slighted. not in the least.
but i'm telling you NOW: dave BETTER NOT GET MY EGYPTIAN BONER STATUE.

that is all.

congratulations to all winners.

bitches.

Dave said...

I would like to thank my agent, the director, the other members of the cast, all the boys and girls working in the backroom, without whom...

Really, it was nothing. Doing selfless acts is a part of my job description, so I'm not allowed to take any credit for it. Virtue is its own reward etc.

GreatSheElephant said...

been thinking about your piece of crewel work (?). Could you upload a photo to something like Photobucket or Flickr if blogger won't accept a picture hosted by blogger?

Or I could upload it to one of my typepad blogs if you want.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

FN: Don't worry, hon. The statue is yours if and when I decide to part with it, you petty jealous cow.

Dave: perhaps, but i'm not one of your flock, so this falls under the 'above and beyond' clause.

GSE: you know, i was thinking along those lines myslef this morning. problem is i don't have any means of publishing. i did consider signing up for a flikr account or something, but it seemed like a lot of effort and no garauntee of success. might still give it a go, tho. i'm feeling very determined right now.

Dave said...

John Wesley said 'The whole world is my parish.' So there.

Timorous Beastie said...

As Timorous Beast will no doubt atest, that was the only "nice" thing I've done for about 8 years.

Just a Girl said...

Mmm, baked goods.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

indeed. baked goods. email me your snail mail address and I will send you something tasty!

medievalmara at hotmail.co.uk

LC said...

I sincerely hope the waffle maker brings you more happiness than it brought me.

*wanders off sobbing uncontrollably, clutching a bottle of scotch and family size jar of painkillers*