Thursday, July 12, 2007

Iterlude: vigettes

I'm molting. Even more so than before I feel like lobster. All the skin on my back came off last night in about 30 minutes and 4 huge pieces.

Yesterday I sat in the park for a few minutes after work to enjoy the sunshine and read a book. I got hardcore chatted up by a slightly drunk, very slovelnly middle aged chap, which culminated in a proposal (and polite refusal) of marraige. The whole thing was odd for a couple reasons:
1, unlike most idiots who run away when you tell them you're seeing someone, this guy wasn't put off in the least
2, he was very complimentary, but did not employ any of the usual cliche's. His observations of me were all rather original, which I found entertaining and flattering, despite myself.
3, he has the same name and star sign as the Pirate. Coincidence, or creepy?

Today while walking home from the office for lunch a bloke stopped me and asked, out of the blue, "If you had to choose between us (indicating his mate), who would you pick?" They looked amazingly alike. I think they might have been brothers.
I replied, "You're both so handsome I could never choose between you. I'd have to have both of you. At the same time."
At first they had no idea what to make of this, but then exlaimed "Ooh, she's filthy!" and ribbed each other with their elbows. I winked and went home to have my lunch.

I may not be able to post Part XXX today because I havn't written it yet, and I'm going to see HP tonight. Tomorrow night I'm seeing Chicago at the Hippodrome with the Pirate (for all you stalkers out there, feel free to try to pick us out of the crowd), and then I'll be gone for the weekend, as is usual. If I can write the post up today while I'm at the office, all the better, but if it's not here by 5:30, I'm afraid you'll have to wait until Monday.


First Nations said...

utterly and coompletely fantastic.

do i love reading these posts about your pirate? yes i do. i think i have a fantasy that you're living the alternate-world young womanhood i would have liked to have had. *sighs happily*

mr. 'once you go black' says hi!

Sassy Sundry said...

Very nicely handled. So you are a Filthy Chaucer's Bitch?

GreatSheElephant said...

1 - maybe it was a timeslip and it was the Pirate from 20 years in the future. Freaky!

2 - I'd be far too scared to make a comment like that in case it got taken seriously and I got dragged into an alley and attacked.

Mr Farty said...

I've nominated you for a completely meaningless Stinking Bugger Award.

Because you're worth it.

homo escapeons said...

I think that greatsheelephant is on to something. There was a brief fissure in the space/time continuum and you were 'this close' to altering history!

I am picturing you, post molting, lying in a bath of green jello-yucca. SSSsssss! I suppose that there is no need to renew the lecture on sun block...hmmm? My shoulders have not seen the sun for about five years when I fried my was brutal and scary.

Now I just keep my entire torso covered while I mow the lawn in the blistering sun regardless of how much money the ladies (or fellas) throw at me as they drive by. The terms stoic and decent come to mind.

I remember the 70s when as teenagers we would smother ourselves in baby oil or that dreadful orange Bain de Soleil crap and lay out in the sun basting between 10 am and 4 pm until we would literally get crispy, dark, brown...

and then off to the pub or disco wearing something neon white to match our grooovy puka shell necklace and show off our tans...gawd we were so cool!

ziggi said...

where, pray, are the naughty bits?