Monday, July 02, 2007

Rainy weekend highlights

you live for this, don't you? i know you do. i am absolutely certain that every single one of you comes to this page each monday salivating in anticipation of reading about my exploits with the Pirate over the weekend. admit it.

this weekend was a very chilled out, laid back weekend, owing to the fact that it was pissing it down with rain all fucking weekend and so all Pirate's cricket matches were cancelled. thus our activities largely involved eating pizza, playing video games, watching the complete second season of Red Dwarf, and having sex in every room of the house. What the hell else are rainy weekends for???

Two bits of the weekend particularly stand out. There are:

1. I cycled over on Friday evening after work, setting out at 7 pm on the 23-mile journey. At mile 21 my chain got jammed. Dawkinsdamnit. Just once, ONCE, I want to reach his house without some fucking mechanical failure on my bike. This has never happened. I tried to un-jam it, but after 10 minutes of succeeding in nothing other than covering my fingers and tools with grease, i got out my cell phone and dialed the Pirate for a rescue. I took one last stab at fixing the chain and, 30 seconds after I'd hung up the phone, I sorted the problem. I called him back. "Never mind." But he was already on the way. He waved cheerfully at me as he drove by. A few minutes later I arrived at his house. It was 9:30 in the evening. I was hot, sweaty, and tired (and the shagging hadn't even begun!).

(It is crucial to keep in mind at this point that Pirate does not cook. When I'm not around he subists on loads of fresh fruit, cereal, toast, yogurt, frozen pizzas and pub food.)

He asked if was hungry. Does the Pope shit in the woods?

He opened the freezer and pulled out a plate, on which was a giant sandwich made from hand-sliced bakery brown bread, ham, brie, lettuce, butter, and mustard. dude. AND he pulled out a huge glass of water that he'd stuck in the fridge to make nice and cold.

I know it's not fancy, but DAMN that's thoughtful. Those are the little things that bring a giant, shit-eating grin to my face whenever I think about him.

The other amazingly charming thing that happened was this:

2. After we went to the gym on Saturday* (we're both gym bunnies. deal with it) Pirate really wanted to feed his collection of venus fly traps. I got him the first one last autumn, and he's up to 4 now. He just loves the little bastards. They're all named Seymor. (Points for originality. *snort*) They havn't been catching much on their own, so he decided to supplement their diet. By taking the tweezers from his modelling bench (he makes model trains) and going to the garden, where he lifted up a stone and found a colony of potato bugs (aka sow bugs, aka pill bugs, aka roly-polys, aka wood lice, apparently), which he then proceeded to grab with the tweezers and feed to the fly traps. He spent about 20 minutes picking up potato bugs in the tweezers, crossing the garden to the fly traps, and sticking the bugs in, giggling (yes, giggling) as the hungry little plant-mouths chomped down on the hapless isopods. I sat and watched his child-like delight with, well, child-like delight. It was adorable.

*and man did he put me through my paces. i'm still sore. mmmmm.


Annie Rhiannon said...

He put your sandwich in the freezer?

helena said...

hand-sliced bakery brown bread, ham, brie, lettuce, butter, and mustard.
Damn! I'm hungry now.

Frobisher said...

23 mile cycle ride! jeezus aren't you an Amazon. I love Venus fly traps, don't they disolve the bugs? which makes it even more fun & horrific end of the bug.

Frobisher said...

I had a ham, brie and cranberry pannini the other day - it was called a "pinky & perky" on the menu. Oh, btw they were two pig puppets on British TV.

Dave said...

I wondered about the freezer, too.

Miss Melville said...

I'm beginning to think that the bike gods have it out for you... I'm not sure why, I don't think you would have kicked their dog or anything like that.

I'm glad you've found a rainy day friend. That's certainly a comfort in life.

I miss you terribly. I dropped your name in my phone interview with Oxford Brookes, hope you don't mind! *love*

Chaucer's Bitch said...

AR: whoops. fridge. i meant fridge, not freezer. sorry!

H: yeah, it were yummy.

Frobi: Amazon? I hope not. I've got little enough in the way of boobage as it is, I don't want to have to cut one off!!

Dave: see above. btw, has Special Agent Cricket made contact yet?

MM: perhaps i should make a burnt offering? or maybe they're offended by the violent shade of neon green that i've just spray-painted my bike! I miss you, too. I can't wait for you to come over here!!!

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