Monday, December 17, 2007

What the wedding WON'T be:

  • ostentatious
  • snotty
  • generic
  • like something out of a magazine
  • the product of one of those big "how to plan the perfect wedding" books

and most of all...
  • the cake will NOT smell of explosives.

So we know what it won't be, but we're still not sure what it will be. Oh, well; we'll figure it out eventually. Process of elimination and all that.


Miss Melville said...

If you don't settle on a church, reception hall and date within the next few days your mother may stroke out... I'm not kidding.

Additionally, your wedding WILL BE memorable and containing ME! :)

helena said...

Well knowing what you don't want is a good start. Although I don't know that anyone has ever sat down and said "I want my wedding to be snotty and generic" (ostentatious I don't have a problem with just as long as it's not generic ostentatiousness!)

I'm curious though, do wedding cakes usually smell of explosives? I only ask cos my grandma makes and decorates wedding cakes and none of them have ever smelt of explosives - maybe she's doing something wrong? (or in your case, right)

Don't worry. Your wedding will be wonderful. Honest.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

MM: she's just going to have to poke a needle in that vein on her forehead to drain the pressure, because this may take another week or three. believe me, i'm as anxious to have a date and venue set as she is, but there is no force in the world that will make the Pirate move any faster. ack!

Helena: some kinds of explosives smell like almonds or marzipan, which i loathe. the cake will have three layers: carrot, coffee, and lemon drizzle, will be made by me, and will be decorated with fresh (edible) flowers.

Anonymous said...

Standard wedding. 20 layer cake, 10 groomsmen/bridesmades on each side, approximately 5000 people in attendance and the whole thing smells like $$$$. Isn't that a normal woman's want for a "dream wedding"?

You should start by watching all the Wedding movies. My favorites to take notes from would be:

Wedding Singer(Adam Sandler)
Wedding Crashers(Vince Vaughn & Owen Wilson)
Monster-In-Law(Jennifer Lopez)
Father of the Bride(Steve Martin)

ziggi said...

I saw a fab wedding cake the other day made completely up of little assorted cupcakes! You may find your time just a little taken up before hand to be making cakes - hope you have a good baking friend on standby!

Geosomin said...

Jus tbook a place and the rest will sort itself out.
The challenge is keeping the parents at a reasonable that it is what you two want.
Good luck! It's loads of fun and stress all in one planning a wedding, but it is the one time you get to wear what you like and feel like the most gorgeous woman on enjoy! :)

Annie Rhiannon said...

Oh my god, you're getting married?! Where have I been?!

Well, congrats CB. When I first started reading this blog you and the Pirate were just about to go on your first date, if I remember right.

Am really happy for you.


Chaucer's Bitch said...

anon: funny you didn't mention the only wedding movie worth watching, "My Big Fat Greek etc." I thought "Father of the Bride" was awful, and I have no desire to see anything with Adam Sandler or J.Lo. I like Owen Wilson, but the previews for that flick made it look really dumb. was it any good?

ziggi: i'm hoping to arrange it so i don't have anything to do on the day except bake the cakes and get dressed. That's the plan, at any rate.

geo: see, that's what i think, but it seems the real challenge will be striking the balance between doing what we want and bowing to She Who Wields The Chequebook, namely, my mother. This is going to be tricky indeed!

Annie: you've been busy, i expect! Click the link for "wedding" under labels in my side bar to see a photo of the ring.

Anonymous said...

Well, I have to admit that I plain forgot about that one. Great movie too. One of my favorites.

Wedding Singer is a good 80's flick with lots of good 80's music for those of us who are children of the 80's. I like Sandler though and I like most of his movies.

Monster-in-law is a good wedding movie but I guess it would be even better if you were to have a pain in the ass mother in law.

Wedding crashers is a good funny flick but it also depends on your sense of humor too. I thought it was hillarious.

oread the SSA said...

Boooo! Exploding cakes are the best! Any kind of explosion is pretty ace, though.
You know, do yourself a dear, dear, dear favor and approach this as throwing the awesomest, mellowest, loveliest party you and Pirate can imagine that you'd want to go to. Seriously. If that's a tea party in a hippie garden with saris and ravi shankhar wannabe's, do it. If it's a costume ball with pipe organists and champagne fountains, do it. It's your damn day, and Pirate's, I don't buy the "for the family" bit for a minute, since they are lucky they got to be there! ;)