Monday, January 21, 2008

Lineage

Pirate has just discovered that he is a direct descendant of William the Conquerer through his mother's side. Which means he isn't really English; he's French! Hahahahaha!

14 comments:

ZB said...

Jesus, no wonder this country is going to the dogs. We've got Americans we can't get rid of and Frenchmen defending us.

Anyway, he's not. He's Norman French, descended from the Norse men. He's not a surrender monkey at all.

When you say directly descended from do you mean William the Conqueror's son which is a direct descendant or via some lady he tupped on the way to court. Medieval lineage being all about legitimating claims, as I'm sure you know, there's been some dirty work pulled down at the heraldic write ups. Richard the Lionheart managed to produce a son via his wife despite being in the Holy Lands for two years while the little shit was being begot, incubated and spawned. Kingly sperm indeed if it can impregnate his missus in Sussex all the way from Jerusalem.

FirstNations said...

you know this means you can never lift your head up again, right? dear god the HORROR.

Rimshot said...

If it's on his mum's side, does it even count?

Either way...hahahaha Frency French LePouf!

Frobisher said...

I think if our colonial cousins in the USA check out their family trees more than one or two Frenchies would fall out.

France is a wonderful, beautiful country with, contrary to popular belief, friendly good people. They make the finest wines in the world (although New World wines hot on their heels), have the finest cuisine, have the longest holidays and have been at the forefront of literature and culture for centuries. I am envious of them. Rather choose the French than any other European nation, including the British.

You could always give back the Statue of Liberty (a French word).

Chaucer's Bitch said...

herebe: yes yes i know. technically the Battle of Hasting was fought between 2 vikings, but we all think of Big Bill as French.

And I don't know how many (if any) of the offspring in the chain are of contested legitimacy. Pirate just found a website that purported to give the entire geneology of William the Conquerer and list all his descendants. Pirate's whole family (his mother's side) popped up. Kinda interestin.

FN: i know. i'll just have to keep telling people that I'm related to (though not directly descended from) Winston Churchill. It's true! AND my great grandfather is from Nottingham, so I'm probably related to Robin Hood as well.

Rimmer: of course it counts. My mother's father is still my grandfather, for heaven's sake. Actually, being through the mother is more legit. Paternity is always contestable. Maternity is not. (Hence the fundamental silliness of the whole primogeniture system.)

Frobi: i love France. It's the Pirate whose always putting the French down, hence the hilarity.

Timorous Beastie said...

But they bake their bread in such a naughty way...

helena said...

Thank you Frobisher...

FirstNations said...

i've been passing for years. tell him it's easier than it seems.

ZB said...

France is a wonderful, beautiful country with, contrary to popular belief, friendly good people. They make the finest wines in the world (although New World wines hot on their heels), have the finest cuisine, have the longest holidays and have been at the forefront of literature and culture for centuries. I am envious of them. Rather choose the French than any other European nation, including the British.

Jesus, even the Scientologists can't brainwash people that well...

Herebe: yes yes i know. technically the Battle of Hasting was fought between 2 vikings, but we all think of Big Bill as French.

You might. I don't.

oread the SSA said...

Now you can make him recite the John Cleese as a Frenchman bits from the Quest for the Holy Grail! YES! Tell him to go boil his bottom.

Sal said...

actually, that makes him norwegian

Sal said...

oh. herebe already said that.

Sal said...

>technically the Battle of Hasting was fought between 2 vikings

between in the sense of a single english army marching b/w 2 viking armies maybe...

"Ut! Ut! Ut! U...oh"

Chaucer's Bitch said...

Hi Sal! Where ya been? Did you know Pirate and I are getting hitched? Well, you've probably figured it out by now if you didn't read the original proclamation.

Re the Battle of Hastings: It's my understanding that Good King Harold was himself a Norsemen, removed by only a few generations, and not much more English than Big Bill was French. That's according to Norma Davies in 'The Isles.'