Monday, November 17, 2008

It turns out that Pirates wear underwear

Who knew?

It also turns out that they will wear their underwear until it is so riddled with holes it can double as a fishing net. At which point they keep wearing it.

So I had a very Middle Class moment the other week. No, not quite that middle class. Or even that. But middle class enough for me.

I went to Mark's & Spencer's to buy underwear for my man.* And then stood around in the men's underwear department with a bunch of other middle-aged housewives complaining that our men refuse to buy their own underwear, but complain about the stuff we buy for them.

It was all terribly middle class, dahlink.

* I eventually got him these.

ps. The bestest part was looking around at the packaging and realizing that my Pirate is more fit and better hung than all the professional underwear models. Yee-haw baby!

16 comments:

オウム said...

Hmm... I feel certain when we're next at sea (hopefully avoiding this lot - http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/africa/article5141745.ece ) that I'm going to have uncomfortable images in my head of Pirate in his undercrackers.

Mrs. Chaucer's Pirate said...

Sorry, ???, but the URL didn't work. I think a few characters may have been cut off in the comment.

Would it help if I sent you some photos of Pirate NOT in his undercrackers?

Timorous Beastie said...

I must admit Bitch, that I'm disappointed by that photo of the crackers. That's not the pirate's front bottom now, is it?

Geosomin said...

The stripes wierd me out...

Anonymous said...

totally off topic, but by any chance do you have an aunt who writes for opensalon, and if so is that your wedding she wrote about?
p.s. have been a fan of your blog for quite awhile

realdoc said...

Those stripes may cause epilepsy if the contents of the pants started moving.

Ezri said...

Ok, so is it wrong that this immediately brings to mind for me the Mawridge speech from "The Princess Bride"? Yea, that's probably not a good thing....

Too much fencing has left me with "Princess Bride" on the brain :)

Hope that middle class shopping safaris aside you're doing well :)

Mrs. Chaucer's Pirate said...

???: the link worked in the email. cracking article. are you and Pirate on the same side? ;-)

TB: No! those are examples of front-bottoms inferior to the Pirate's.

Geo: It's important that every pair be different, so he can remember which ones are clean and which ones he's worn when he's travelling.

anon: I have never heard of opensalon, so I couldn't say for certain, but I find it unlikely, given that my aunt is not yet able to send an email without assistance, and never learned to type.

Realdoc: (hello!) Don't look directly at the pants! the Trouser Snake is a giant basilisk! If you look directly at it you'll turn to STONE.

Ezri: It's a dweam wivin a dweam!

FirstNations said...

If he's brandishing a belaying pin superior to that of Mr. 'Hipsters' then yo ho ho and a bottle of DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG.


just wait. I now select and purchase uns for the Yummy Biker AND the Playboy of the Western World.

Gordie said...

How did you manage to [cough]date Pirate for so long, without noticing his underwear?

You're either further along the spectrum than I realised, or just incredibly horny.

Sal said...

"darling, we need to talk. why are you wearing lace panties?"
"they're not lace! they're MATURE!!"

Sal said...

in other news, why are UK jocks so uniformly horrifically uncomfortable?

i have to go back to oz ASAP to buy another batch of actually-wearable jocks.

Gordie said...

I recommend Old Navy. (Appropriately.)

Mrs. Chaucer's Pirate said...

FN: oh, GOD. Say it ain't so! I stand here as a confirmed atheist and pray to the heavens that I never have to buy underwear for my father-in-law!

Gordie: if you go back through the archives you will discover that on our first date i comment that Pirate wears smaller knickers than I do. I just didn't have a reason to do a whole post on the subject until recently.

Sal: cheese and wine mature. they don't develop holes. in other news, UK knickers don't fit me, either. I have a properly rounded, hemispherical ass. English women have flat, shapeless asses. Result: panties don't fit me. They ride up. Ugh.

Gordie: I thought they made deodorant???

Sal said...

panties don't fit me, either.

as the old saying goes, they're like a cheap hotel. no ballroom.

Gordie said...

That was Old Spice. www.oldnavy.com