Friday, December 05, 2008


They are coming.

They are coming tonight.

I have 9 hours to:
  • clean the bathrooms
  • mop the kitchen floor
  • vacuum the whole house (Pirate?)
  • tidy the spare bedrooms
  • rearrange the furniture in the spare bedrooms
  • put sheets on all the beds
  • wash a load of darks
  • walk a mile to the grocery store and carry all the groceries home*
  • cook dinner for Pirate
  • bake Christmas cookies
  • take out the compost bucket
  • clean the dead leaves out of the flower beds before the stems rots
  • shower
  • finish sewing Pirate's stocking**
  • finish crocheting Pirate's mum's scarf***

*I must remember to buy toilet paper
**I'm making stockings for both of us out of an old pair of jeans.
***It was supposed to be done for last Christmas


Dave said...

You're a woman, aren't you? 9 hours seems a bit excessive. There should be at least a couple of hours spare for a bit of blogging too.

Timorous Beastie said...

I feel it might not be politic to ask why Pirate will be wearing stockings...

GreatSheElephant said...

eh. You concentrate on the last two and leave the rest to the person who should be doing it - him. It's his parents ffs

Geosomin said...

Good luck.
IT's all good...don't worry.
They'll be happy to see long as you have TP and bedsheets, it's all good :)

Donn Coppens said...

OR you can overwhelm them by simply being witty and charming and delightful.

Finding that delicate balance is no easy task...they are his folks and you certainly don't want the Pirate to turn into Ward Cleaver now do you?

That being said you also want to feel empowered and establish your territorial dominion. In-Laws are a tricky lot and if you're lucky enough to inherit great supportive ILs it's like winning the Lotto..
on the other hand if your sig-oth is a real Mama's boy then you will soon be begging the Earth to open up and swallow you whole.

I have no doubt that the entire episode will sail through without a hitch because you are so pulled together and forward thinking.

Relax and enjoy...
they love ya to bits anyway don't they?

Frobisher said...

I'm sure they've already made their mind up about you being an unfit wife - their poor little boy.

Try to enjoy yourself, and it'll come naturally

Mr Farty said...

Just pop a couple of Xanax(sp?), you'll be fine. Shall have been fine? How did it go? Oops, are they still there?

zIggI said...

in-laws or out-laws?
Did it go well??

Mrs. Chaucer's Pirate said...

Dave: as a woman, normally i could do this in 9 minutes, but right now i claim disability leeway. almost all of the aforementioned involve bending over, which i cannot do terribly well just now.

TB: so he has a place to put his package, obv!

GSE: yes, but he was at work all day. earning the money which lets us live in this house. i don't have an income, therefore housekeeping is my task. i find this perfectly fair. (Though he does do the hoovering, as that does my back in.)

Geo: I remembered the TP! 100 meters of two-ply, 100% recycled ass-wiping fun! Yay!

Donn: They loved my banana cream pie, anyway.

Frobi: i may be an unfit wife in some regards, but i can suck a canteloupe through a drinking straw, and that makes up for a lot. Sadly, i cannot tell my in-laws this.

Farty: nope, they've left. It was a lovely weekend. I spent half of it washing dishes, but it was a lovely weekend nonetheless.

Zig: it went fine, babe.