I'm here to bring you the Good News. The Second Coming is imminent. The End (of my American imprisonment) is nigh!
We just heard from the honorary British Consul, and he says that my visa will arrive in the next couple of days and that i can book my plane ticket for Friday week. I don't know how he got a 10 week process shortened to less than 3, but I'm not looking a gift-bulldog in the mouth.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It is not a train. Life is good.