Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Memo from the desk of Too Much Information

Me: sorry for sleeping so late. I put the sheepy sheets* on my bed last night and it was so snuggly in there i couldn't bring myself to get up. It was like a uterus. Now I'm going to spend the rest of the day eagerly awaiting bed time, just so i can get back in it.

Mom: Why don't you go back to bed now?

Me: I'm wide awake. What would I do there.
*pauses*
Don't answer that.

Mom:** You know what they say: sex is like bridge... if you've got a good hand, you don't need a partner.

Me: ...




*We're having a cold snap. The temperature was below zero last night. That's zero Farenheit. So I put the flannel sheets on my bed. My flannel sheets have little cartoon sheeps all over them. They are seriously cute.

** Mom runs a twice-weekly, ACBL-sanctioned bridge game for a bunch of nearly-dead local residents. I shudder to think where she heard this.

7 comments:

Annie A said...

ha, I love it

Gordie said...

You've got a dirty mother.

Henry North London said...

My mother is too much of a prude

I'd probably die before I ever heard that from her

Geosomin said...

That's bizarre. I'd know my Mum was an alien if something like that plopped out of her mouth...

Timorous Beastie said...

Gosh, how liberal, and coming from an American and all.

Mrs. Chaucer's Pirate said...

AA: i'm glad someone does.

Gordie: and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

HenryNL: if not you'd certainly die shortly thereafter

Geo: so long as an alien never plops from her mouth everything's fine

TB: my mom's so liberal she makes janet reno look like atilla the hun. wait, i just realized, janet reno does kind of look like atilla the hun. i smell a flaw in my similie.

zIggI said...

yeah, true, but still more fun if you have someone else to do it all for you ;-)