Monday, January 22, 2007


What do you do with gifts from ex-boyfriends?

I still have gifts from Hairy Man. Not many, but a couple. Most notably, this, his first ever gift to me, which he brought back from a diving holiday in Egypt.

That sculpture is still sitting on my bedside table (being used as a jewelry holder for my bracelets. ahem.) After I left Hairy Man and began seeing the Pirate I left it there because
a) I genuinely like it; it's a really neat piece of art, and
b) breaking up with His Hairyness was the hardest thing I've ever done, and though he disappeared from my life completely, I wanted to keep some reminders of him around.

I still miss him, and I still cringe at the thought that I'll never see him again, but I think the statue and the memories it evokes bring me more sadness than comfort.

On the other hand, the thought of getting rid of it -- even taking it to a charity shop or giving it to a friend -- feels like dumping him all over again, and I just can't bring myself to do it.

Every time I think of him I become incredibly sad, and yet there's a part of me that doesn't want to stop thinking about him. I cherished the time we spent together, and I want to be able to look back on those memories with fondness, and not tears. I don't want to forget about him, but I don't want to be sad every time I remember him.

So what should I do with the statue?


llewtrah said...

Put it in a box along with other things from your past that you don't want to see each day. That way you can either keep it and look at it now and again or, having got used to it not being in sight, you might want to get rid of it some time in the future.

First Nations said...

you think i'm kidding? i'm not. not even a little bit. i love it. it reminds me of the mayan sculpture in La Cage. plus, its
1. egyptian
2. egyptian

i'll pay the damn freight, even. i' promive to give it a good home, display it proudly and keep (parts of) it (more) shiny (than others, knowing the type of person who visits here).

Betty said...

Well, if you send it to the charity shop, expect some funny looks!

If you've got mixed feelings towards getting rid of something you usually end up regretting it (well, in my experience). Maybe it won't mean as much at a later date. Just store it away somewhere.

Mu Tai Dong said...

Uses it for the stamp crushing vegetable

hendrix said...

I'm with the other's on this one - pack it away and decide what to do with it at a later date. Unless of course you have no-where else to keep your bracelets!

Spinsterella said...

You genuinely like it? KEEP IT. If you get rid you'll regret it.

Stick it in the back of your wardrobe till a bit more time has passed.

He will have been hurt about getting dumped, but he will also recover.

Timorous Beastie said...

The only sensible thing to do with that is to put batteries in it and use it as a vibrator.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

UPDATE: The Fertility God Min has been moved to the back of my wardrobe until further notice. I'll leave it there for a few months and see how I feel about not having it around.

I do feel quite strongly that art should be displayed, not stored, so IF i eventually decide to let it go, at least now I know there is a good home waiting for it. I have to fly back to the States in May for an academic conference, so IF (emphasis on "if") I choose to get rid of it, it's all yours, FN.

TB, i've always suspected that this sculpture (and the thousands others like it that are sold in the markets in Egypt) are intended to have a (less publicized), er, functional use.

realdoc said...

How big is it? Just curious.

belladona said...

Ah, so late. I too would have suggested storing it for a little while. I'm glad to see I'm so omniscient.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

doc: size doesn't matter! (but since you asked, just over a foot tall.)

bella: this many bloggers can't be wrong.