Friday, December 19, 2008

Unlike this poor schlob, i AM Michael Phelps

During the Olympics this summer you may have seen the BBC news reporter who is not Michael Phelps.

I know how he feels. I've taken up swimming at Pirate's gym, mostly because 2/3 of the time I show up for weight-lifting or circuits classes they get canceled due to me being the only one HARD CORE enough to show up. So I hit the pool instead.

I used to be a really slow swimmer. A really really really slow swimmer. Then I discovered the box of flippers next to the kick boards. Now, rather than praying for the wall at the opposite side of the pool, which advanced so slowly I used to fear the second coming would happen before I reached it, it rushes toward me with such rapidity that it frightens me, and I have to slow down to avoid an out-and-out crash.

"So this is what it feels like to be Michael Phelps" I thought, the first time I swam with the flippers on. "Brilliant!"

Now crowds follow me where ever I go. I can't get out of the locker room without signing autographs. Oh well. It's all part of the price of fame.


Dave said...

I do think this post needs a picture of you with flippers on.

FirstNations said...

I think it needs a better picture of phelps.

you are like a superhero now. you are aqua bitch.

S.Vincent said...

haha, in the states, he recently did an interview with Anderson Cooper on 20/20 and phelps beat him swimming underwater with no dive vs anderson swimming freestyle with a diving start.

Mr Farty said...

Aquabitch! I love it. You should have your own superhero costume.

Mrs. Chaucer's Pirate said...

Dave: swimming pools and expensive digital cameras don't mix.

FN: that's easier. i can do that.

Vince: that's because he's half fish, and Anderson Cooper is a twat.

Farty: what makes you think i don't?