Saturday, January 09, 2010

And the beat goes on

I've finally done it. I've finally pursuaded the Pirate to let me lose the patch and allow nature to take it's course.

Damnit, I'm going to be 31 in just a couple days! fuck me that sounds OLD.

Part of me is rejoicing, but part of me is still really worried. He doesn't seem happy with the idea, just resigned to it. I don't want it to be like that. I want it to be a happy occurance (when it eventually occurs). Having a baby should be full of joy, not resignation to your wife's biological clock.

I want him to want what I want, but life just doesn't work that way.

So I finally got what I want, but I can't bring myself to be happy about it. Fuck.

And I'm about to turn 31.

(Jesus, have I ever sounded more like Herebe? Now there's a frightening thought.)

13 comments:

helena said...

"Jesus, have I ever sounded more like Herebe? Now there's a frightening thought"....much as I hate the term...LOL!

Could be worse CB - you could be my age (although I do now admit to being 33).

But in my (admittedly childless) experience I don't know if men do get happy about the thought of babies. I think they tend to be happy when presented with the result. Mind you, F is starting to get broody...which is just as worrying.

LC said...

Oh christ, women are all mental.

So, he's agreed to have children with you, but you're complaining because you can't make him feel the same way about it as you do?

Just get on with it, if he's already agreed to do it then he'll be happy enough once the screaming little bundle of shit and snot shows up. At least seven of my friends have had kids in the past couple of years, and they all love it.

FWIW, I've always been entirely indifferent towards the idea of having kids, but our first offspring is due in August and I couldn't be happier about it.

Annie said...

Hmm. I don't think it's mental at all. It seems quite sane to me to want your partner and co-parent to actively want to have kids or want them at least as much as you do. can't blame a gal for feeling cautious. Nine times out of ten women end up the main carer – if your man expresses at least some desire to have kids from the beginning, it will ease the pressure of that responsibility. And mitigate the anxiety that they might bugger off leaving you holding the baby (not that I'm suggesting anything of the kind with CB & her pirate. ) Considering the whole strenuous giving-birth business, and the fact that your body will never ever be the same again afterwards, and you will probably lose your financial independence til the kid goes to school at least, it's no wonder women think about it.

But yes, sure he'll get into it in time. Also, 31! You're a mere spring chicken.

LC said...

The answer is simple then - make sure you and the person you marry agree on this simple, yet fundamental, issue before you get hitched. If you think you can eventually nag a man into wanting and feeling the same things as you once you've got the ring on his finger, you're mental.

Mrs. Chaucer's Pirate said...

LC, I totally agree that couples should resolve the whole kids issue before getting, as you so charmingly put it, "hitched." we DID. or i thought we had. he always said he wanted kids, and still maintains he does, but not now. and doesn't want to say when. and doesn't want to talk about it.

and yes, he'll probably come around when it's all said and done. but i'd rather know he actually wants it, rather than bank on him changing his mind after the fact. *sigh*

Mrs. Chaucer's Pirate said...

but as a wise friend of mine pointed out, resignation to the fact of children is much better than not wanting them, and may be the best i can hope for.

Pirate does have a history of needing to be bludgeoned into decisions (eg, marriage) and then being very pleased with them afterward. so there you go.

zIggI said...

sounds normal to me kiddo and he'll enjoy the making part :)

zIggI said...

why haven't you called your company the Pirate Cake Company?

Kingfisher? pah!

:)

CompuNerd said...

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I was leary too when we started to talk about kids but now that I have two, I am very happy with it. I wouldn't be too concerned at all about it. Heck, when you get pregnant, you'll hit somewhere in the 8th month or so and wake up one day and say "Oh Shit, I am not ready for this!!" and then you will spend the next few days dwelling on it and then it will go away, at least that is what happened with my wife for both of our kids.

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Geosomin said...

I dunno - he's agreed to it. That's huge.
It might take a while to figure out how he feels...and he probably won't know until it all happens. I'd be a little freaked too, but he loves you so don't worry about it. Things will jsut happen and you'll figure it out as you go along together...

LC said...

I agree with Kelsik.

The Pixy Princess said...

hey hey! you're back! And you're starting a company... and a baby.... I've missed a lot in just a few weeks it would seem.

Good luck with everything new, and looking forward to hearing more about the recent developments